Star Trek Voyager: The Gift Egg

Author's Note: Since it was my birthday yesterday, I am sharing this (hopefully) funny little ST:V story.

Janeway sat at the head of the conference room table and glanced around at the people seated in attendance. All her senior officers were there: Chakotay, Kim, Paris, Torres, Tuvok, Seven, the doctor, and Neelix. They all sat quietly awaiting the beginning of the weekly meeting. Janeway opened her mouth and started to speak when a pink egg appeared in the center of the table. On the egg was a small folded piece of paper.

"What's this?" Janeway inquired.

"It appears to be an egg," Tuvok replied.

"A pink chicken's egg," Neelix added.

"I can see that, but what's it doing here?"

No one answered.

"Who put this egg here?" Janeway's inquisitively eyed the crew. Kim turned his head to Paris who shrugged. They all sat in silence looking at one another until the doctor spoke up. "There appears to be writing on the paper.

Kim gently reached forward and pulled the paper to him. He unfolded it and said, "It says, 'Behold this beautiful gift.'"

"Is that all it says?" Paris asked.

"There's nothing else," Kim replied as he flipped the paper over.

"I wonder what's inside it," Torres said. She picked up the egg and took a close look and abruptly put it back. "It moved," she told them with wide eyes. They all sat and watched the egg, but it didn't move.

Finally, Janeway spoke up. "Well, we can sit here staring at the egg or we can get on with this meeting. Neelix, give us your report."

Neelix, still keeping an eye on the egg, said, "This week-" He stopped suddenly as the egg grew to twice its original size. "Did you see that?" he asked incredulously.

"I think we all saw that," Paris stated.

"What's inside there?" Chakotay asked.

"It may be dangerous," Tuvok said.

"A baby chick, maybe," Kim suggested.

"We should break it open," Seven said.

"Neelix could cook us up an omelet," Paris added with a smile.

"No. Nobody will be breaking it open. We don't even know what it is yet,"

Janeway ordered.

"I think it's alive. It could be anything. Maybe even a torpak egg," Torres spoke up.

"What's that?" Chakotay asked.

"A small four-legged mammal found on Klingon. It lays large pink eggs."

"How could a mammal found on the other side of the galaxy lay an egg on our table?" Paris questioned.

"It was just a suggestion," Torres said curtly as her face reddened slightly.

"It could be a manifestation of the spiritual world. A symbol of life," Chakotay submitted. "Maybe even a new life form."

"Oh, that would be interesting," Janeway commented.

"There is the possibility that the egg is mechanical," Seven said.

"A construct," Janeway added. "Built for a purpose. But what? And why was it placed here?" 

She thought for a moment. 

"Mr. Kim, get a tricorder."

 Tricorders weren't standard issue for a conference room so Harry got up from the table and walked right into the door. He bounced back and said, "It didn't open." He stepped away from the door and tried again. But the doors wouldn't slide aside.

"B'Elanna, get one of your people on it," Janeway instructed. Torres tapped her combadge but nothing happened. "My comlink doesn't appear to be operating."

Chakotay touched his combadge and found it wasn't working either. "Is anybody's comlink operational?" he requested. They all tried and failed.

"We can't get out. Our combadges aren't working. Someone's keeping us in here for a purpose," Janeway decided. They all turned back to the egg and found it had grown tremendously, taking up over half the table, and it had changed color. It was now green.

"I have a feeling were not going to like this 'gift,'" Paris commented.

"Who is the gift for?" Tuvok inquired.

"Maybe it's for all of us," Kim said.

"Or just one of us," the doctor tagged on.

"Our first priority is to get us out of here. I don't like being locked in my own conference room," Janeway stated, and the egg grew and became white.

"I'm concerned, Captain," Tuvok stated.

"So am I," came Janeway's tension filled voice.

The egg started to shake and a crack appeared down its length.

"Here we go," said Paris. Everybody got up from their chairs and took a step back.

Suddenly, a leg broke through the shell. Torres and Neelix jumped back with a start. It was a humanoid leg. A fist smashed threw as well. Tuvok pulled out his phaser and aimed it the egg or rather what was coming out of it. The hand stretched its fingers as a second foot ruptured the shell. The shell fragments fell away from the being inside.

The being inside the egg was tall and lean. It took on the appearance of a human male of approximately 50 years of age. He had dark thinning hair and was sitting, naked.

The Voyager crew gaped in stunned silence until Janeway said, "Q."

"Yes, Kathryn. It's me," he said proudly and stood up, revealing everything.

"Q!" the entire staff shouted.

"What are you doing?" Janeway drilled him.

Loud childlike laughter from an unseen voice filled the room. "Making my son laugh," he stated triumphantly.

"What for? Why this?"

"It's his birthday gift. To make him laugh."

"You celebrate birthdays?" B'Elanna was amazed.

"No. He's the first. He's one of kind, you know. Well, I've done what I wanted to do. I must be going." With a sliver of light, Q and the eggshells were gone.

Janeway and the crew looked at each other andburst out laughing, except Tuvok, of course.