Under Attack

Realization

(Main Character Pov)
"I've always wanted to be a singer sense young, or a person who reads many books aloud to people. But sometimes I have an odd day where I wanted to be something else, or somewhere else have you ever felt like that?" I asked Claire as we begin to play another tycoon on Roblox together. Roblox was something her and I both enjoyed doing together, sense we didn't have much in common but listening to sad music or enjoy watching an occasional anime we both love. I used to play Roblox with my other sister Chan until she moved away at the age of fifteen, but who could blame her though our family was pretty hectic back then and still sense this day nothing has changed much just the part where we go our separate ways. Claire was the only one who I could tell most of my feelings to sense she had never onced judged me on how I felt, so telling her what I'd wished for the future was no big deal at all. But sometimes I feel like I wear my heart out on my sleeve to her, only to get stepped on. Maybe I'm just over thinking things like I always do, it's just hard for me to trust people ever sense what happened back then.

"Yeah I feel that way a lot sometimes it's hard for me to make up my mind, but I do know that whatever I want to do in the future is raise a child of my own. So no matter where I end up, I know I'll be anywhere as long as my child I'll have in the future is besides me at all times" Claire replied back to my question as she smiled at who knows what while off in her own world.

"You'll never be good enough, your not my child I don't know who you are. I should have sent you to foster care, your not my child go kill yourself no one wants you!"  Mom's voice rang in my head on repeat. I know she doesn't mean what she says, but it hurts still when she says it with malice just pure hatred and anger in her voice. She says these words on repeat to me that sometimes I think I'm even starting to believe it myself, ripping the adoption papers in front of me she yells and screams at the top of her lungs we don't deserve to be called her daughter or have our last names. I've never asked for this or to have this last name that I was forced to have, but nether did I ask to have my own mother be diagnosed with brain cancer only to have her come out of remission to discover a few years later that her brain tumor is still in her head that the doctors didn't get all of it out.

I blame myself for why our family slowly started to split away, until it started to speed up and my world falls before me and I have nothing left but empty and sadness.

I'll never be good enough will I? They'll all leave me in the end never comeing back or ever truly loved me, was it to much to ask to be held in the arms of someone who will never let me go? but it's only a dream I have to face the harsh reality all on my own, as my skin begins to be pierced by ice slowly I'm starting to become nothing but a walking corpse afraid to see what's in front of me now that I've lost everything nothing is left.
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Opening my eyes I find myself in a un- familiar environment, so the first question that pops through my mind is ' where the fuck am I? '

"Hello good morning my teddy bear you've slept well have you?" A voice asked standing next to me, I jump realised that someone else was *cough* is in the room with me.

' what the f-ing hell did he just call me his teddy bear who the fuck dose that anymore!? ' I thought as I take in the man standing to the right of me.

' he's hot I give him that but don't think good looks can make me a fool like most woman, thoughs with beauty are filled with thorns waiting for the right moment to prick you skin off little by little ' "Where am I?" I asked with the most calm and in caring voice I could muster up, I usually hate acting fake to someone however right now I think it's better if I do.

"Somewhere you'll be safe, I'd advise you stay by my side until this war is over #######" He mumbled something under his breath after saying what he did.
"What war?" I asked only to realize asking that question was oveously going to be a mistake

"The war between Mafia and Gangs all across the globe" He reply's with a sinister tone while flashing me a fake smile "so you hungry?" He continued as he went to feel the temperature on my forehead with his hand.

"Kind of" I replied while looking away from his face that appeared so close to mine for comfort.

"Great I'll bring you some dinner up" he says as he walks out the door.

Why am I here? and why not just leave me to die, if not with my family then I'd die alone from natural causes or murder.

But I was to afraid to say anything anymore, I wasn't going to talk unless I was spoken to after all that was how I was raised.

Mom Dad if I were anybody else would you still not want me?

I know I shouldn't care about how they feel about me, but is it so wrong to want to be loved? Maybe I'm just as selfish as everyone else is.

Laying my head back on the pillow, I realized that they probably took my phone away from me ' damn it now how am I supposed to know if Claire and mom made it back home okay? '

End of chapter