Devil's Effect

A Chilly Thursday

The first light was coming into the loft windows, and Jason was already awake. He didn't need to get up for work right away, but he knew that he needed to do something significant. He needed to wake Mike up and tell him if he wanted to keep sleeping, he needed to go upstairs.

Mike was deeply asleep, one hand under his pillow and the other curled into a fist under his chin. The dark blue blanket was high around his shoulders, and Jason lay next to him, watching as features became distinguishable on Mike's face as the light grew stronger. Jason memorized the space between Mike's lips as he breathed, the fall of his bangs across his forehead. He reached out and covered Mike's exposed hand with his own, gently moving his thumb over the knuckles. I hope he's still okay when he wakes up. I hope he doesn't regret last night. It's going to be hard, going on like nothing has changed. Having to do to Ry what I did to Mark, just to keep the peace. Lying. We're both lying this time. I hope Mike is ready for this.

Jason scooted closer, their foreheads almost touching. "Mike," he whispered, watching for any signs that Mike had heard him. "Mike," he whispered again, a little stronger. He watched the crease between Mike's eyebrows as he scrunched his eyes tightly and a frown formed on his lips.

"It's early," Mike mumbled, only somewhat aware that the room wasn't awash in sunlight like it normally was when it was time for him to get up for work. Flashes of memories from the night before filtered slowly through his brain and his frown softened as he opened his eyes to Jason's soft smile. "It's too early, Jay."

"I know. I know you hate waking up early. But it's a work day. I was thinking Ry and Chaz, they might be coming in to get clothes, and you can't be here. Not down here." Jason leaned close and pressed a light kiss to Mike's pouting lips. "It was good to get to sleep together, though. You were out quick last night."

Mike turned his face into the pillow. "I was tired," he said into the pillow. He was still tired, and he knew Jason was right about them not being discovered in the downstairs bed together, but that didn't make getting up any easier.

"You can go upstairs and go back to sleep," Jason suggested. "I might sleep a little more, too. I just know we can't risk you staying down here." He moved to sit up a little, and brushed the hair off Mike's forehead. "Come on. You want me to take your pillow upstairs?" Jason tugged on the corner of Mike's pillow and almost laughed when Mike's hand shot out to stop him.

"I'll get up," Mike whined, rolling over onto his back. Jason was hovering over him with a smile and he couldn't hide the answering smile on his face, though he wanted to keep pouting. "I'm going, I swear." He stretched his arms over his head and then sat up as Jason scooted back. Mike grabbed his pillow and started to get out of the bed, but he hesitated. "It's going to be weird, isn't it?" he asked softly, his mind going to Chester and what it would be like to see him this morning, after what he'd done.

Jason reached over to slide his arms around Mike's stomach, resting his chin on Mike's shoulder. "Do you wish we hadn't done it?" he asked, his eyes looking straight ahead into the apartment. It was complete chaos, six months of living in the crowded space together, a representation of all four of their lives at the moment. Even though he'd forced himself to ask, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear Mike's answer. He didn't want to think they had made a mistake.

Mike closed his eyes, hugging his pillow close. It wouldn't do any good to analyze it all now and wish he could go back. He tried to come at it all from a purely physical point of view. His body wanted Jason, and he'd gotten him. Even if it had been emotionally unfulfilling, Mike had made a choice to betray Chester and now he was stuck. If he was going to make that betrayal worth it, he was going to have to work for the emotional connection. Maybe we just don't know each other well enough yet. But it was never like that with Ches. We were always connected to each other. "I don't know how good I'll be at hiding it," he finally said, trying to mask his confusion. "This would have been easier if we'd waited." He felt Jason kiss the side of his neck.