𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐬 , 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬. // 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥

𝒂 𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝑹.

you were one of my best friends, really. i talked to you for hours everyday; i asked how your day was or how you were doing everyday; i made it loud and clear that i care a lot about you. but you never returned that feeling.

not once in the six months we've been friends have i felt cared for. you would blow me off when i would bring up something personal, and then you'd turn around and talk about yourself. you only care about yourself, is the problem. maybe i've been doing some things wrong too, but you've been hurting me a lot recently. 

so that's why today i dropped you. at first, i snapped at you, and i'm so sorry for doing that. i was already upset about something that happened earlier that morning. at least i owned up to my actions, though. i apologized for snapping at you like that, but you never apologized for what you said to me in response. 

being the bigger person, i decided not to bring that up. instead, i told you about how i've been feeling for the past three months. i was respectful about it and made sure that i kept my anger out of it. i tried being civil, but you didn't want that. instead, you gaslighted things, saying that "i know that you care" and that i'm just acting like an idiot. finally, i unloaded. i sent you three, very thick messages and you responded with a single sentence. 

"fuck you, stupid whore." 

that's when i knew you were toxic. what kind of friend says that? let alone in a serious manner, like you meant it? you know i have troubles with that word. i hate it. it disgusts me. so why did you say it?

i'm going to miss some part of you. i won't miss you, but i'll miss the friendship we had. you know, staying up til 2 am just talking about horror movies. walking down to the nearest ice cream shop together without giving a care in the world. or all the times we got high and somehow ended up talking about jellyfish (and how they'll take over the world, not the roaches).

i refuse to miss you, though. no matter how great our friendship was, i will never forget how horrible of a person you are. 

so that's why i'm moving on. it'll hurt, but i'll ultimately but happy in the end. 

this is my goodbye. 

-s.