Walking Fragile Lines

Strangers

It had been 5 days since Brian had left to stay with Joe and his family and he was really struggling. He hadn't heard a single word from Liv, not that he blamed her, and all he wanted to do was go home, but he also now found himself feeling so full of shame that he couldn't even bear to face her. Joe had been good to him, better than he deserved he thought, and Bessy had slowly but surely begun to become less hostile towards him, but nothing could change the way he felt inside.

It was a chilly afternoon and, after having taken a shower, Brian huffed as he sorted through the three T-shirt's he had packed, deciding which one was clean enough to wear before eventually giving up and asking Joe if he could borrow some clothes.

"I know I said Liv needed time buddy but - but don't you think you should go and get some more of your stuff?", he said awkwardly. Brian looked at him sadly as he struggled to respond. "I mean sure, we don't mind doing your laundry but - you're gonna need more than a few T-shirt's and pants", he continued.

"I just - I didn't wanna take too much with me in case - in case she called and asked me to come home", he sighed, hearing how ridiculous he sounded as he shook his head.

"And she still might! But - but you've gotta be prepared Q", Joe told him sadly. Brian nodded in understanding. Joe was right. He had to think about this realistically and he couldn't just rely on Joe and Bessy whilst ever he was waiting for Liv to give him a definitive answer.

After borrowing some clothes from Joe, Brian sat staring silently at his cellphone. His thumb hovered over Liv's name as he wondered whether he should call or send a text. But what would he even say? Was there something he was supposed to say? And it was these questions that lead him to send a text - something he could go over again and again until he was happy with it. After drafting over several text messages, Brian decided to go with something simple;

B: Hey, I know I'm the last person you'd wanna see but would it be cool for me to come pick up some stuff?

He sat for a half hour, staring at his phone as he waited nervously for a response. He could feel his forehead beginning to sweat as he twiddled his thumbs anxiously, unsure of what else to do with himself.

"You talk to Liv?", Joe interrupted his thoughts as he shuffled into kitchen with a basket full of laundry. Brian simply nodded his head as he sighed.

"I sent her a text", he told him. "I just didn't wanna be a stammering blubbering jackass over the phone!", he defended himself upon receiving a disapproving look from Joe.

"That's a fair point", Joe agreed before disappearing into the laundry room. And just as Brian's mind had wandered a little, his phone buzzed violently against the table, and he felt his heart in his throat to see Liv's name flash across the screen. His palm sweaty, he slowly unlocked his phone, his thumb hovering over his text messages before finding the courage to read what she had sent.

L: Okay.

Brian felt both hurt and relieved by how short her answer was. He supposed she was still mad, and rightly so, or that, she too, struggled for something more to say. Either way, she had okayed it for him to go home, to see her, for whatever little amount of time that would be. And Brian's nerves quickly returned. The last time he had been nervous to see his wife was on their wedding day, and that was only because he was paranoid that she wouldn't turn up.

A whole hour later, Brian had plucked up the courage to get in his car and make the drive to his home. He spent 15 minutes in the driveway, nervously staring at the house as he found himself unable to move. He knew the kids were in school and that Liv was the only one home, and that had only worsened his nerves. He also missed his children like crazy. It was different being away from them when he was on the road or working, but being away from them like this was torture. Brian took a deep breath, shaking his head vigorously as he snapped himself out of his nervous state before getting out of the car and heading towards the front door. Unsure of what to do, Brian knocked, anxiously waiting for her to answer. And when she did - Brian's heart sank in his chest. He had never seen Liv look so drained. He studied her appearance as she silently stepped aside to invite him in. She had dark bags under her eyes, like she hadn't slept in days, and her skin was almost porcelain white.