Letters to Eren

Grief

Three years had passed by in a flash and the pain was still as fresh as an open wound. Everyone was losing hope, everyone...except Mikasa. Grisha had finally had enough, the endless disappointment of high hopes that his son would be found had pushed him to the boiling point. To him, his son was gone forever and now it was time to call it quits.

"Mikasa... I have something to discuss with you."

Mikasa was sitting at the windowsill daydreaming about her future with Eren when Grisha suddenly came in, "Grisha, you know when Eren comes back we're going to get married and buy a house, close to you  of course since we'll want to check on you, and you know what...I think I'll end up getting pregnant and give him a son... Then maybe a daughter...wouldn't that be nice Grisha? You'd be a gram-"

"Stop. Please... Just stop Mikasa," the somber man's eyes became misty with water, "I'll never be a grandfather Mikasa, my son is gone...and he's never coming back, you need to start accepting that."

"Grisha..." The dark-haired girl looked at him with mixed emotions, "what-what are you saying?!? Are you giving up on him? H-He's your own son for God's sake! YOU'RE JUST GONNA GIVE UP ON HIM, LIKE HE NEVER MATTERED?!?!"

"DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE I DON'T CARE ABOUT MY OWN SON?!?! I CAN'T HANDLE THE PAIN ANYMORE!"

Mikasa glared at him, appalled at the fact he was acting with such cowardice, "So, what? Are you just going to forget he ever existed?!? Forget you ever loved him?!? YOU'RE A COWARD GRISHA!!!!!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO FUCKING JUDGE ME MIKASA! HE'S MY ONLY SON! NO ONE ON THIS EARTH KNOWS HOW MUCH THIS IS HURTING ME, DO YOU THINK I'M PROUD OF THIS? I'M TIRED MIKASA," Grisha let out a low sigh, letting his raging temper calm, "I'm too old to be experiencing this kind of pain, I need some rest... I love my son, but it's been three long and grueling years Mikasa... We need to accept reality and move on." Mikasa stared down at the floor, listnening to the foolish man. She felt herself wanting to break down and cry, cry so loud that the world could hear her pain, her agony, her love for Eren...her lost Eren.

"what are you planning to do Grisha?" She asked with a hint of pain.

"I want to bury my son," Mikasa's eyes darted up at him, wide in surprise, "I want to be able to have a place to visit him, to grieve for him, to spend his birthdays at. That's why I'm planning his funeral five days from now."

"huh.. Really? Is that all Grisha?" Mikasa said coldly. Her eyes were hollow and her voice was like a sharp dagger through Grisha's heart.

"Yeah... It is..." He walked outside closing the door behind him. Mikasa stayed inside her room finally allowing the tears to crawl down her cheeks, she looked out her window toward the ocean, it was a beautiful sunny day, the gulls were singing and the waves crashed rhythmically into the sand. For her however, it was a grim and  gloomy day, reminding her of what she no longer had. It was just like that fateful day she received the news of Eren's disappearance.

-

The day when Mikasa and Grisha would have to bury an empty casket into the ground had approached all too quickly. Mikasa wore her black Sunday dress, a red rose decorating her dark hair and the scarf that Eren gave her, wrapped quaintly around her slender neck. She looked into the mirror, recognizing the emotionless girl staring back at her. 'Seems like a while since I've seen you... Things must be dire if you're here... What exactly is it that you're afraid of?'

"Mikasa? Are you ready yet? It's time to go..."

Mikasa opened the door slowly, letting out a long sigh, "I don't think anyone would ever be ready to bury the person they love most" she muttered quietly.