𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑙 • 𝑍𝑎𝑏𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑙 𝑑𝑒 𝐽𝑒𝑠𝑢́𝑠

46

-I would like the biggest burger please. And a vanilla milkshake. -I say playing with my rings, seeing a waitress stop by our table.

-Is it one of those days? - I recognize the kind voice and look up to see Samantha, giving me a little smile.

-Oh my God, I'm sorry. Hi, I didn't even said hi, did I? - I ramble feeling bad about the shitty person I've been lately and she smiles.

-Its okay, baby. - She says grinning, making me smile.

-I didnt know you worked here.

-A girl gotta do what a girl gotta do. - She says and I nod, feeling the sadness come back to my chest again. - I'm so sorry, Angel. I never got the chance to tell you, i'm really sorry. - I feel my eyes start to water but I manage to hold it in.

-Yeah. - I nod not knowing what to say and she looks back.

- I would give you a hug but my boss is staring at me. - I snort smiling.

-Go get them coins sis. - I say and she laughs, grabbing my chin.

-Im here for you. Whatever you need, ask Christopher for my number. - I nod whispering a 'thank you' and she winks smiling, leaving. I could really use a hug right now.

-Mr 'the burgers from there are really good'. - I say looking at Chris and he laughs.

-What? They are.

-You didn't even ordered.

-She already knows the usual. - I open my mouth in shock and he frowns. - What?

-When is the marriage and what's the name of your child?

-Oh my God Angel, shut up.

-You really like her, don't you? - I ask and my eyes start to water again. He grabs my hand, caressing it with his finger.

-He's gonna come back to us. To you.

-Samantha, please. - I say looking at Chris's eyes, knowing that if we extended the conversation, I would start sobbing in the middle of the restaurant. He nods.

-Yeah. I do. - He says looking down and I grin, holding my tears inside my eyes.

-As you once told me, "life is short, enjoy it". Dont do what I did. Don't wait for the right moment, because it can never come.

I end my sentence feeling the tears running down my face and Chris gets up from his seat, sitting beside me. He hugs me tightly and I burry my face on his chest as he petted my hair.

I look at Chris, from the table as he gets up and pays, sharing smiles with Samantha. Fuck. I miss Zabdiel's smile. I miss being happy enough to give smiles as honest as they're giving each other. This is why I never want to leave my house. Seeing other people happy just makes me feel even unhappier. I wasn't in a place where I could just be happy for my best friend's happiness. I was but I ended up comparing it to my constant lack of it.

-Lets go. - I shake my awful thoughts away, hearing Christopher's voice. I nod and get up, waving at Samantha, trying to give her my best smile. He puts his arm around my shoulders as we walk to the car, breaking the silence. -Im sorry, I shouldn't have brought you here.

-Why?

-Angel, I know you. I'm sorry, we should have stayed at mine.

-Its okay. - I open the passenger's door, getting inside the car.

-To your house? - Chris asks and I nod, closing my eyes, holding the breakdown that was about to come, inside me.

-Where else would I go?

I let my tears run down my face as the water runs down my body. I wash my hair, feeling the need to feel clean. I pat dry my body and wrap a towel around my hair, putting my underwear on, followed by a pair of white sweats and a hoodie. I walk downstairs, not bothering to blow dry my hair, telling my mom I wasnt gonna sleep home and walking out of the door.

I knew exactly where I needed to go. The place I went when I started to feel the need to find reasons not to slice my wrists open.

I walk about a mile, stopping at Richard's front door, grabbing the key on my pocket and opening the door. He shots his head at me, from the couch, getting up quickly, coming in my direction as I close the door.

-You walked all the way here with wet hair? You're gonna get sick, Angel. - He speaks in a concerned voice and I snort hugging his toned torso. -Did you have dinner? - I nod and he kisses my forehead. -Are you okay? - I look up at him, not breaking the hug and slightly shake my head letting myself feel all the emotions I've been repressing tonight. He hugs me tighter, placing a kiss on my neck and leading me onto the couch.

He grabs the remote as I get comfortable on the couch. He puts a show I can't remember on Netflix and I put my legs over his and hug his torso, kissing his neck. He tries to muffle a heavy breath and I put my hand on his lower abs, under his shirt, feeling them tense up.

-What are you doing? - He whispers and I look down, closing my eyes shut, before looking at him.

-I need you. - I move my legs uncomfortably but he quickly grabs my thigh.

-Shh, I got you. - He whispers getting up from the couch, carrying me in his lap, upstairs.

-You don't have to. - I whisper as he opens his bedroom door, closing it behind him with his foot. He lays me on his bed, placing his knee between my legs and his arms next to my shoulders, leaning his forehead on mine and sucking on my bottom lip slowly.

-I got you.

Hey angels, I'm so sorry I think I haven't posted in like a month. I've just been through a really hard time lately but things are finally getting better. I hope you're all okay and safe and I hope you enjoy this little crappy chapter.
Also, this chapter is dedicated to ontaszabdiel because she inspired me to start writing again.
Always appreciate all of your guys's comments and love ❤️