Webbed up

Chapter 1 - Part 2

- You should be more careful, baby boy! - says Deadpool, in such a cheerful voice I'm sure he is grinning under that mask. Before I can reply he pulls out a short dagger from one of his numerous pockets and throws it at the man who shot the gun at me. It's the guy I assumed was the leader. The blade embeds itself into his chest and he collapses.

- Nobody hurts Spidey on my watch! - he lets the katana down as he tells the dead man, or his alive and tied up buddies. I'm not sure which.

- Hey, why did you kill him? You could have just unarmed him! And where did you even come from? - I snap at him, panicking. I have so many questions, I hardly know where to start. He just turns to me, unphased.

- I think the words you are looking for are "Thank you for saving my life, Deadpool!" or "Oh, Deadpool, you are my hero! I would be totally and utterly helpless without you!"

I let out a sigh.

- Yes, thank you! I appreciate that you didn't let him shoot me. But you still didn't have to kill him!

I am really upset about this, and there is no way I will just let it go. Killing someone is never reasonable.

- Oh, stop using the k-word like that! Let's say I unalived him. That sounds so much better! - he steps closer to me and wraps an arm around my shoulder - Look, baby boy. You were in grave danger and I saved you. Who knows what this guy would've done next if I didn't unalive him. Just let it go and celebrate our victory!

- Our victory? Last time I checked, I did this whole thing alone and you just stepped in last minute. And you still didn't even tell me how and when you got here! How did you know about this whole thing at all?

I am confused. Stunned, even. I can't believe I almost died and it's only due to some dumb luck that Deadpool got here in time to save me.

- I've been camping out here since last night. I was just waiting for you to show up. But then you went off fighting all these guys while I was watering the nonexistent flowers in here ~if you know what I mean~ and by the time I pulled my pants up this guy was pointing a gun at you. Really, Webs, like you didn't even know we are doing this as a team! - he takes a step back, standing right in front of me. I'm just slowly shaking my head in disbelief.

- How was I supposed to know? It's not like we had a discussion about it. I didn't see you since last time with those wizard-ninja guys. And that was weeks ago.

He keeps quiet for at least five seconds. I don't think he ever not talked for this long.

- So Fury didn't tell you? And here I was, waiting for my spider-friend to give me a sign or something! Huhh, the management is pretty flawed, if you ask me! - he bursts out, throwing his arms up, in a big, overexaggerated gesture. I smile under my mask. I can't keep a straight face when he is like this.

- So Fury hired you to do this? And I assume you get paid, even though I did most of the job. Oh, by the way, should we call for backup?

He just waves me down.

- I already did. The S.H.I.E.L.D. should be here any second to take these guys and the jewels. And I'm not getting paid for this one. Fury did me a favour and I helped him out in turn - he shrugs, then finally puts away his sword.

- Favour? What kind of favour would Nick Fury do anyone? - I ask in astonishment. I don't dwell on the rest, but I really want to know the answer for this one. Another shrug. He looks away like he's embarrassed about something.

- I told him if I can work on the next job he gives me with you, I'll do it for free.

I am so glad for my mask at this moment! My face must turn bright red at this confession. And this is the moment when S.H.I.E.L.D. agents pour in the door, multiples of them stepping to each of the tied up criminals. I can't even answer what Deadpool just told me. Since there is no need for me anymore, I nod towards the door, signalling him to come with me. And while we walk outside, there is a lot of things I have to tell you guys. We have been on tons of missions with Deadpool in the past months, so him showing up here is not much of a surprise, if we don't count that Fury forgot to mention it to me. The thing is, we kinda became friends after a while. Sometimes we hang out after beating up the bad guys, go to a fast-food restaurant or just goof off in town, patrolling the rooftops. And it's always a lot of fun, and lately I can't wait for the next time we meet. Sometime along the way, I developed a crush on him, that I really try not to admit to anyone. This is why we only meet when there are criminals to chase. No phones, no real identities. But this time, it's different. He wanted to see me.

- So how much money did you exactly give up to kick some butt with me? - I ask when we get outside, away from the chaos of agents. We start walking towards town.

- Idunno. But it doesn't matter. Do you know how hard it is to reach you, Spidey? I can't just call you or light up the Spider-Light on the night sky! I had to be resourceful. And it worked. So it was worth it.

He seems pleased with himself, and I have to give him credit for this move. It's almost flattering.

- And now that we're here... what's the plan? - I ask, masking my excitement. I can almost see his grin as he pulls me closer, arm around my shoulder.

- Oh, I have so many plans, baby boy! First, we go and eat some tacos and chimichanga, then we can go to my place for that video game showdown you promised me. After I beat you in every game you can think of, you can cry on my shoulder and I will comfort you reaaal good... And I know where your mind just went! Bad Spidey! But if that's what you want, you know I don't mind~ I'm really good in all kinds of comforting. And so you can spend the night and I think we should have red gerberas as a centrepiece at the wedding...

He keeps on babbling, and by the time I catch up, he is talking about a wedding.

- Let's back that up a little bit... what wedding? - I cut in, face as red as my mask. Once again, I am glad he can't see my face.

- Well, after I show you my comforting skills, you are going to fall madly in love with me, of course, and you will insist on getting married on the spot. Don't think just because I'm not quite right in the head, I can't see this coming! - he turns to me, his voice so carefree he can't possibly be talking seriously. Still, I have to fight to keep my breathing steady.

- I see you really planned this whole thing out. There is just one problem - I look up at him and wish he could see the challenge in my eyes.

- What kind of problem, baby boy?

He seems honestly surprised, but I just smile under my mask.

- You will never beat me in any video game. I am the champion! - I declare as we finally leave the warehouse district and reach the first streets of the town with actual traffic.

- You are mistaken, Webs. I will kick your ass!

I shake his arm from my shoulder and give him a playful nudge in the side with my elbow.

- I don't think so!

- You'll see. Just don't tell me I didn't warn you!

I am so sure I'm not the only one smiling like a fool. I can hear it in his voice. We both very much enjoy this lighthearted bickering. By the time we get to the closest taco bar, we have a bet going on the video game night. The loser has to pay for everything the winner orders the next time we go out for food. Doesn't matter how stupidly big the order gets. And I really like the odds.