don't || a.irwin

3.5// miss (not) moving on

Warning: this chapter includes some scenes that might be intense for some readers. Please do not read if you don't think you can handle it. Viewer discretion is advised. Thank you! Enjoy!

Katie's POV-

People always seem to ask the same questions in my world. Somehow, interviewers always manage to lead me right to 'who I am dating at the moment' and 'what would you do if you weren't famous'. Of course, I never changed my answers, making my life easier and the interviewers become very frustrated. But there was one question that I never thought I would be asked. A question only Ellen DeGeneres dared to ask , "What happened between you and Ashton Irwin?"

Ashton Irwin was a name of the past, a name that I hoped would be gone by now. He was someone I'd hurt too much. Someone I'd dropped regardless of what my heart told me.

Normally, I would mutter 'no comment'-since it was about Ashton, and everything having to do with him was numb- and we would all move on. But in this case, the whole story came to mind, all in random order, but it came crashing down like a tsunami.

My breath got attached to my throat and I couldn't speak. As my eyes began to fill up with water, I had to breathe in to keep everything I had been holding back from spilling out.

And that was when Ellen yelled cut and I simply ran away as fast as I could.

That was when I knew I wasn't over Ashton Irwin, and I had messed everything up not for him- but for myself.

It seemed as if Ashton was getting along fine, from the news that I had gotten from Twitter and Instagram. 5 Seconds of Summer had grown into one of the best bands of the decade. Awards were handed to them carelessly and everytime, they seemed to be as excited as when they had gotten their first award.

Of course, I was "cordially" invited to all of these events, and I went. But the categories I was always placed in, they were totally changed. This was due to the fact that the band had broken up. Needless to say, Jason got pissed because he was the only guy in the band that I never screwed. Joey was kicked off of the band. And Matt and I were the only ones left, and unless we wanted to be Scrillex-all drums and vocals, that wasn't going to work out.

We tried getting new bassists and guitarists, and they were great people and musicians. But the damn band fell through once Matt found out that I was not over Ashton. So, in the end, I had a bassist and a guitarist that didn't exactly like me, and no drummer. Maybe we could become an underground indie band that's against drummers. That could work.

But I formed a brand new band, changed the name, deleted Taylor from my contacts and started to write songs with the Madden Brothers. And here I was, still hung up on Ashton, and running away from the Ellen Show. Who the fuck even does that?

Ellen decided to take the footage that we had already recorded and just totally cut out the Ashton scene. I thanked her and she gave me an understanding smile, making a joke about the fact that it was times like these that she was glad that she didn't marry a guy. Also, she informed me that someone had stopped by with an envelope, and that it was in my purse.

Without thinking much of it, I wiped my tears away, fixed my make up, apologized to the guys for ruining the interview, and moved along. I didn't even think twice about the letter.

My new band and I hopped into our car, greeting a few fans on the way there. I took a seat next to Finn, my new guitarist (who I had vowed not to sleep with regardless his looks).

Suddenly, I remembered the letter. As I fumbled around with my purse, struggling to find the envelope, I had to place it on Finn's lap so that I could get some support. Then, I found the all-too familiar envelope, seemingly untouched. "Fuck."