Habit // l.s

8. Numb

The car ride back to the hotel was eerily quiet. Louis kept his head faced towards the window trying desperately to get his mind off the meeting, but nothing worked. No matter how hard he racked his brain, his thoughts always wandered back to what Simon said. The older boy wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. No words could express his frustration. His pain.

The car soon came to a stop as the security guard informed them that they had arrived back to the hotel. Louis let out a sigh as he grabbed his things and made his way inside. The older boy could tell Niall was trying to catch up with him, but Louis didn't want to talk with the blonde boy. He didn't want to talk to anybody. He just wanted to get his mind off that fucking meeting. As the older boy unlocked his room, Niall let out a desperate yell.

"Lou-!"

Louis slammed his door before the blonde boy could finish, and he didn't forget to lock it this time.

Louis tried to let sleep consume him, but his mind wouldn't give up. Eventually, Louis gave into his thoughts and let his mind wander. He began to think about Harry. His gorgeous green eyes. Greener than grass and more vibrant than the shiniest emerald. He didn't realize how much he cared for Harry until he was told he couldn't be with him in the public eye. Louis couldn't take it. Why is it that you want something more when you know you can't have it? He wanted the younger boys curls. He wanted to feel his soft skin. He wanted to taste those lips that he was so familiar with.

Every thought of the younger boy was eating Louis up inside. His heart ached for Harry and he just wanted it to stop. An abrupt knock at the older boys door immediately halted Louis' thoughts.

Louis lifted himself from the hotel bed and answered the door only to see a tall, green eyed boy before him.

Louis just stood there in silence, admiring Harry's features as the younger boy did the same. Every time Louis saw Harry, the same question popped into his head, how can one human being be so perfect?

Harry inhaled as if he were about to say something, but Louis stopped him by grabbing a fistful of the younger boys shirt and pulling him inside.

A gasp escaped Harry's lips just before Louis pulled the curly boy in for an urgent kiss.

Louis' hands traveled up Harry's back, allowing his hands to explore the younger boys body. Harry's hands were clasped around Louis' waist, lifting him up a bit so the older boy didn't have to stand on his tiptoes. Whimpers escaped their lips and the kiss deepened. Louis didn't care that the door to his room was wide open. All he cared about was Harry and how good it felt to kiss him.

"Wait." Harry whispered into Louis' mouth.

The older boy let out a slightly annoyed sigh, but pulled away from Harry's lips.

"What is it?" Louis asked, breathless.

Harry's fingers were petting his lips, as if keeping Louis' kiss on his mouth.

"We should talk."

Louis knew exactly what Harry was talking about, but he decided to play dumb. He really didn't want to talk about the meeting.

"About what?"

Harry raised his eyebrows, as if he knew Louis was acting clueless on purpose.

"The meeting."

The word 'meeting' sent shivers down Louis' spine. He began to pace around the room.

"I really don't want to."

"We need to Louis!" Harry shouted, as if he were holding back tears.

The older boy abruptly stopped his pacing and gazed at Harry. He didn't want to talk about the meeting. It was actually the last thing he wanted to do. He wished that they could just forget about it. Act like nothing ever happened, but he could see Harry needed this. He saw the desperation in Harry's eyes.

"Alright..." Louis said hesitantly.

Harry gave a thankful smile as he shut the door to Louis' room.

"We need to fight this. Show them that they can't control us." Harry practically shouted. You could tell by his tone that he was in pain. Yet for some reason, what Harry said made Louis angry. Did the younger boy not hear anything that Simon said? They signed a contact! Simon and his company owned the band and there was nothing they could do about it.

"Control us?!?" Louis asked, as if he were shocked by what Harry had said.

"I don't even know what 'we' are! I mean shit Harry! You don't even know if you're gay." Louis sounded harsher than he intended, but he didn't care. He was consumed by frustration and anger.

Harry stood before Louis in complete shock. The younger was taken aback by what he had just heard.

"We-we're friends." Harry eventually whispered shyly.

Friends. That word only fueled Louis' fire.

"Friends?!? We're just friends?!? Friends don't make out with each other, Harry. Friends don't hold each other the way you hold me. Friends don't look at each other the way you look at me. And friends don't love each other the way I love you." Louis' eyes were now filled with tears. He didn't mean to say 'love', but he wasn't lying. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, he knew he loved Harry. The fact that the younger boy thought they were just friends just hurt Louis even more.

Harry's mouth was slightly open as if he were trying to speak, but the words wouldn't come out. His vibrant green eyes now filled with glossy tears. Louis waited for Harry to say something, but he didn't. He just stood there, filled with pure shock.

"Look. You better just go. I don't know if I can do whatever this is anymore." Louis sighed, using all of his willpower not to let tears escape him.

"No, Louis please!" Harry begged, not even making an attempt to stop his crying.

Seeing Harry like this broke Louis. The older boy wanted so badly to hold Harry and tell him that everything was okay, but it wasn't. Louis needed to give the younger boy time to find himself, even if Harry didn't want that.

"Please Harry, just go."

The younger boy let out a loud sob before running out of the room. The older boy just stood their, to numb to move.

Louis wrapped his arms around himself and couldn't help but let hot tears stream down his face.

•••

Sorry this chapter took so long:(
I hope you enjoyed.
School is super stressful so I'll post chapters when I can. I'm not going anywhere though, I really enjoy writing this fic.
Chapter nine coming soon!
-Willow :)