Let's start over

Chapter 17

Emily's P.O.V

God. I am so stupid. The fact that I was ready to forgive her when she was with Noel, ready to jump on his bones. I'm such an idiot. But there was no need for me to think this way anymore. I was ready to move on without her and get on with my life. No more being reckless, stupid and careless. After tonight, I won't be that Emily, I will be the well educated, proper and perfect daughter Emily that I've always been. But only after tonight, after my last wild streak. The alcohol was already rushing through my veins after only a few minutes as I mindlessly put the shot glass to my lips and swung back, taking it all in one go. And it kept going like that for about half an hour to the point where the room was a pointless blur ,lightened by strobe lights and dancing partners making me lose all sense of sanity. 

I stumbledo off my stool,pulling down the dress that now stuck to my sweaty body before making my way slowly through the crowds. I needed to get home and sort everything out. I needed Hanna. The phone in my clutch rang as I pulled it out, stepping into the bright lit bathroom, smelling like cheap perfume and sex. Lovely. I quickly answered as I stared at my shattered appearance in the mirror.

"Emily?" I smiled at the sound of Hanna's voice as I kept back the tears that were now silently making their way down my flushed cheeks from all the alcohol I had consumed. I couldn't care less though because at this moment of time ,I needed my best friend more than anything.

"Hey Hannaaa"

"Are you drunk,babe?"

"Nooo, what you talking about..."I smiled as I pulled half of my hair into a little messy bun at the top of my head so it would stop constantly brushing against my face.

"Where are you?" She now sounded a bit curious but at the same time she was trying to keep calm. 

"At that club we used to sneak into."

"I'll be there in 5 minutes, stay in the bathrooms until I get there okay?"

"Okay sweetie, see you"

I pulled the phone away from my ear and placed it in my clutch before sitting on the little couch at the side of the room, trying desperately to sober up even a little bit before Hanna got here. I hated making her dissapointed in my actions but somedays, I just need to get away. Now I realise that I just keep hurting everyone. I needed to stop and that's what I would do, finally. 

Not even 10 minutes later, a worried Hanna pushed past the drunken girls and sat next to me ,pulling me into a tight hug. I leaned into it as I let her rub my back ,trying to keep me calm. She knew I wasn't okay, she knew damn well just by our conversation on the phone. Her chanel perfume flowed through my nostrils as I nestled my face into her sweater covered neck. We pulled away after a few minutes, making me face her as she smiled sadly at me. 

"Let's get you home." I nodded as she got up and pulled me up with her. I obeyed before following her out the bathrooms and back out into the hectic club, clutching onto her hand desperately like a little child which to be honest, I felt like for the past few hours. The music blared into my ear as we stepped out the club and out into the dark night. The cold wind nipped at my skin as I shivered, finally making it to Hanna's car. She opened the door for me as I silentley thanked her ,stumbling in and buckling up as she got into the driver's seat. 

The ride was silent but not awkward. Nothing with Hanna was ever awkward. We've been friends for as long as I can remember. When my family first moved to Rosewood, I met Hanna in a little park not far away from my house. It was a sunny summer's day and I was bored from all the unpacking. We were around 7 and the whole day we spent playing castle on the slides and sandpit before swinging on the swings. It was time to go home and I remember we cried because we didn't want to leave each other even though we only knew each other for not even a day. Our parents were smitten in our friendship and allowed us to hang out the whole summer. Sleepovers ever Friday became a tradition that we carried on until we turned 16. Now we just did it any day we wanted because most nights were spent round each others houses anyways. 

We arrived at Hanna's house and I was more than thankful. I didn't want my mum to catch me in this state that was nothing like me. Because it wasn't. This was a phase that I desperately needed to get over and go back to being my own Emily. The Emily that actually people liked and adored because of her personality, not this Emily that only gets attention for her antics and habits. We walked in silence into Hanna's house as she sat me in her arm chair before taking off my shoes.

"Hanna."

"Yes Em?"

"Thank you."

"It's no problem."

"It is though! I'm such a bitch to everyone, I hate it!" I whispered-yelled in case her mum was around because I didn't need my other mother figure coming in here. Hanna's mum never minded our drinking but for some reason, today it would make me feel ashamed for her to find me in this state. Maybe because I was ashamed of myself .Yes ,that's why. 

"Emily, look at me." Her hand made it's way to my flushed cheeks as she made me look right into her eyes. They were sympathetic and loving ,exactly what I needed." You are amazing, you can't not think that. If you were all those things you mentioned, I wouldn't still be here with you. You are perfect , intelligent and the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. You need to stop feeling like this about yourself because you are wrong! You are the best person I have ever met, ever since that day in the park, the whole day I've spent with you and then that night we stayed up until the point where your mum had to scold us for being up too late, I knew that we would always stay friends. But now I realise." She sighed as she took my hands carefully into mine, me waiting for her next words."That I like you more than a friend. All the times we mess around and flirt, it made me realise how much I actually need you in my life. When you went to Lauren's that night of the party, I saw no other way but to get drunk because I was jealous okay? I was jealous because I like you and I've felt like this for a long time but I always threw it off as a crush because I thought it was because of our close friendship! But I realised it wasn't, it was because I was smiten with you. Emily Fields, I think I love you." She breathed out as I looked at her in awe.

My heart fluttered at her speech and I felt something. I felt the same way. All the times we would mess around, I would get butterflies and when she would hold me at night after my nightmares, I would always try and be closer to her so that I could inhale her captivating scent that lingered on her pillows and mine alike. I liked her too. Scratch that, I loved her. I love Hanna. Shit, I'm so stupid. How could I have not seen it before? I looked back at her and noticed her face ,looking at me hopefully as she kept her hands on mine. And in that moment that our lips crashed together in a desperate manner filled with lust ,love and happiness,

I knew I loved her too. 

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I have so many feels I can't even 

Shit 

Finally though

Shipped them since chap 1 

sorry ,oops.

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