Let's start over

Chapter 16

Lauren's P.O.V

"Emily?" I looked at the girl in front of me. Emily stood there, in her white dress, her hair curly as her eyes widened at my sight. I must look like a dead rat by this point of the night. 

"Lauren ,are you okay?" She asked as she sat down next to me. I stiffened as her knee skimmed past mine. Calling the attention of the bartender ,she ordered 2 shots. Why two? The bartender placed them down in front of her and she downed them within seconds. She looked calm and relaxed, no care in the world. This was a different side of Emily and I was growing curious of why she was this way.

"I could ask you the same question, Emily." I snorted as she shot me a glare. That was uncalled for but I was drunk and had no recollection of my actions at the moment. I was mad for her leaving in the morning and I was mad at myself because I was the reason she was hurting . And she didn't even know.

"I wanted to be civilised and stop you from getting gropped but if you're going to be a bitch about it, I'll just leave." She snapped, rolling her eyes as she picked up the fresh drink that had been placed in front of her before getting up from the stool. Just as she walked away, I grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Please ,stay." I whispered, sobbering up at the magnitude of this situation. I knew if she left now, there would be no way to get her back. Ever. Especially after she would find out my past. I wasn't ready for that, I needed her in my life. "I love you..." I  dragged out as she sighed ,looking at me.

"Saying that has no more effect on me than you asking me to stay. The meaning of the word was tarnished when you screamed at me as I poured out my deepest secrets to you." She snarled as I bit my lip. She was right. I was being horrible, not thinking about her feelings and now it was rubbing off.

When she came to my house and we sat in my room as she told me everything, I felt angry. Not at her because she did nothing wrong. I was angry at Alison, everyone around Emily at that time of her life and most importantly myself. Before I moved to Rosewood, I had some kind of rebellious streak. I was wild and free, disobeying my parents wishes and throwing my life away. I couldn't help it. It all happened when I met that bitch. She bought out the worst in me and I hated that, but at the time, I was naive and adolescent, I had no self control or will power, just a stupid mind and the ability to make people fall at my feet. 

"I'm sorry." 

"That word doesn't mean anything either." She added as I nodded, drinking more of the water that was in front on me. I needed to sober up and make things right. We would go back to my house together and it will be all okay. Right? We'll be fine, she loves me and I love her. We're meant to be.

"I know, now let's go back to mine, I need you with me." I whispered as she looked at me. I wasn't sure of her answer. Other times I wouldn't need one, I would know that she would take my hand and let me lead her away but this time, it was different. And it scared me to a large extent to know that she may never look at me the same way ever again.

"Fine.." I stiffened. Was I hearing it right? She just said yes. I smiled sheeplishly to myself as I stumbled off the stool, grabbing the water bottle off the bar and holding my hand out for Emily. Everything is going to be just fine, it will all work out for us. We'll be together in no time. Because we love each other. 

She took my hand as we pushed through the sweaty bodies, but at this point , I couldn't care, I was walking with Emily and soon we will be back to the way we were in the beginning ,happy. Yes. Happy, finally. 

That's what I thought anyways.

"H-Hey babe, 'vbeen looking for you." I turned around, facing an extremely drunk Noel as he made his way towards us. S.hit. I'm screwed and this is only the beginning. 

"Noel, go home ,you're drunk!" I shouted over the music as I gripped Emily's hand, refusing to let go. He was going to ruin this for me and I would go ape s.hit on him, I could already see it coming as the anger rose to my face.

"But I came here with you and you're supposed to stay mine tonight." f.uck. I forgot I said I would crash at his place so my parents wouldn't catch me out on my drunken ways after my clear path. I realized that now, Emily's hand wasn't in mine anymore. She stood there, her face scrunched up in anger, betrayal and she looked...broken.

"Em I-"

"Shut the f.uck up, Lauren! Leave me alone, I don't want to see you ever again.Stay away from me!" She yelled as I winced. She had never been like this but I caused this. I had no one to blame but myself. 

She pushed angrily through the crowds of the club as I turned back to Noel who wore a confused expression.

"Well done you dickhead, now she hates me." I snarled as I pushed past everyone and out into the open air. Right now, I couldn't give a damn if my parents saw me drunk and felt disappointed in my ways. I messed up and I had lost the person that I loved the most. She won't ever know what she does to me ,she won't ever know how much I cared for her. I fell for her. Hard. There was no going back. If she hates me now, she will hate me once she finds out about my antics.

I can't leave her alone ,though.