Regrets

Chapter 18- New beginnings

Writers note:

I know its been 4 years but hey better late than never, I'm going to try and release a new chapter every fortine okay! Remember the key word 'try' so do not hold me to it guys.

okay so last time we read Patricia and Tierra got into it about a few things, but you'd be pleased to know they reunited and are closer than ever. Al the girls left school with some good GCSE grades, even Karena she still completed her GCSE'S even though she fell pregnant with my beautiful nephew Kairo that didn't stop her. Darnell went off to university in Portsmouth and Tishawn also used his brain and enrolled at LSE, he always had a brain but we were all shocked when he got into such an elite school that a whole Russel group university. Sharlesha and Asha actually stayed friends, this was kind of surprising to me but hey, they really did have a lot in common. They were both bums. Now I know you're all dying to know what happened to Keyon and Tierra, keep reading and you'll soon find out.

-Tierra's Point of view-

This had been my second visit to the clinic in this year enough was enough, my first visit had been for an abortion. I know this goes against my morals and I promise you I regret it everyday but guy i honestly had no choice I couldn't have kept that baby. The way it was conceived was so wrong , so dark, so shameful. Even thinking about the moment gives me Goosebumps. it was just a normal cold January afternoon. Keyon decided to come over to mine after I had finished college, i remember it was a Monday because that was when my time table was blessed and I finished college at 11. I was just chilling at home as usual , then Keyon facetimes me, he's proper moody so I'm literally just tying to be there, you know giving encouraging words and that. So he's like 'I need you with me right now' so I said cool come over. He comes over we're chilling like its  a calm vibe so he starts kissing me and I'm not objecting because I love me some kisses. He's kissing me slowly, attentively and passionately. Suddenly an aggression wavers over him and he's commanding me to open my legs. So I'm saying 'Keyon just relax.' 'I don't wanna have sex' he's ignoring me , I'm pushing him off me he's not listening. So I just lay there , while he slams himself inside me, despite my objections. When he finished he got up said 'I'll chat to you later then left.' Now the crazy part is I didn't even realised what had happened, well I did but did I? maybe I just wanted to forget it happened? Maybe he didn't realise what he had done? ugh! My head was exploding with thoughts. Keyon did infact ring me later acting like everything was all good, no apology, no how was your day. He literally rang me to tell me how he caught his little sister beating in the house. I told him that I was tired and I had 6th form the next day and hung up the phone.  weeks go by and Keyon still didn't realise that I was being distant with him, but as the weeks kept going by I started to feel weaker and weaker, this was mentally, emotionally and physically. I didn't have any bait pregnancy symptoms but I knew deep deep inside that something wasn't right.

I didn't tell anyone I kinda just built up the courage to go to the clinic and get tested while doing so they asked me few questions but I didn't really let them know what really happened. I got tested for STI's and then did a pregnancy test. There and then I decided to go through with an abortion. It's kinda hard to even look back at what happened I just went took a pill and was bleeding for the next couple of days. As you all know my mums always working so she had no idea anything was really up With me and as we all know my brother is now a father so he is paying me 0 minds. I didn't tell Keyon mainly because I didn't know what to say. What's there to say to him "oh hey yeah I got pregnant the day you raped me" ? Yeah no this one was just one of them thing that I just had to go through alone. After this all happened I just felt distant I don't know I hate myself now like I really just wish I had gone through with the pregnancy. I keep wondering if it was a boy or a girl even though I wasn't even that far along , but my brain just ponders on these things. It's hard to explain, I hate looking At situations as regrets, I always like to think of bad situations as lessons but this just doesn't feel like that. This feels like I'm killing myself slowly this guilt is unbearable. I am here today just for a check up just to make sure everything is okay with me, I also want to look into getting some help because I really cannot function like.