Babydoll (BWWM)

38 - I don't deserve her

Jackson's POV

+ not edited

"Dude, you really fuck wit her huh?" Liam makes his presence known after awhile. I wouldn't say that I'm scared she'll leave me. I'm scared that I'll hurt her and that'd kill me.

I hate to think that I'll be the reason that she dies if I can't protect her. I don't reply, I let him keep talking.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes. You're down here because?" He asks for an answer and I keep my eyes on the target. I guess having a gun range in the basement took stress off of me.

"I'm stressed Liam damn,"

"It's 3am, if you ain't know, but anyways I'm not a relationship expert b—" He starts out, but I cut him off.

"Yea obviously." I scoff.

"Ok bitch, lemme talk. You wanna know what I think?"

"Nah,"

"I think you love her." He says and I stop shooting. "Shut up, lemme talk. You scared you're gonna lose her? You're scared because you think you can't protect her? So, what're you gonna do about it? Bitch, whine, moan huh? Make sure that you're not the root of her problems." I take a deep breath and sigh.

"I already let her get shot." I say stretching my shoulders, ashamed.

"She's alright yea?" He says and I nod slowly. "Well then," he shrugs.

"Still," I stress. "I don't deserve her,"

"What you're not gonna do, is some bullshit and up and leave her just to leave the both of you broken. That's fucking stupid and I will cut you if you do that." He threatens. "Other than that, I got you brother, you'll be fine." He hits my chest walking out the doors and upstairs. I take a seat with my head in my hands, thinking. Thinking about her.

—

"Jackson?"

I groggily open my eyes. "Why aren't you sleeping? Or why are you down here sleeping?" Kiona kneels down in front of me. I look up at her.

"I just got caught up shooting and fell a  I'm sleep down here." I lie and she gives me a look saying she didn't believe me.

"You must've been real tired then hmm?" She speaks softly waiting for me to stand along with her.

"Yup," I say, brushing myself off.

"Well, Liam made breakfast and I can tell you need to eat. You need some medicine?" She asks as I sit down on a stool. This is why I don't deserve her. She softly runs her hands through my hair and massages it. I close my eyes pulling her closer to me. She stands in between my legs as I grip the waistband of her jeans tightly.

"No." My voice comes out raspy and groggy, and hoarse.

I rest my head in her neck as she softly plays with the hair at the nape of my neck. "You know you can talk to me right, baby?" She whispers and I nod. I felt weak.

She makes me weak in the worst-best possible way. That doesn't make any sense, but that's how I feel. My fingers play with her belt loops as I kiss her collarbone softly.

"Look up at me." She demands and I do. She takes the pad of her thumb and wipes under my eye. I had been crying and I didn't even notice. I haven't cried in at least 10 years now look at me. She pouts upon seeing me hide my face in her neck again.

She began to lightly scratch my head then lets her hand drop to my neck as well. She let me have my 'breakdown'. I didn't want to call it that.

It was then my emotions took over and I felt like shutting down completely. I couldn't do that to her, us.

I loved her. Not only that, but I was in love.

_________
A/N:

I love being dramatic :)

Next chapter will make up for this short ass one