My last five seconds
On August 11 2019 I sat in my bathtub fully clothed, two bottles of pills in one hand and a blade in the other.
Thinking of the last moments that had just occurred
Staring in a daze at the dirty water,tears streaming down my face,. In the next five seconds I would pour the bottles of pills into my hand and guzzle them down with the dirty bath water.
I stared at the blade in my hand
Contemplating making it permanent no matter what.
I sat there as the water got sucked up by the drain. I got out I took my cloths of and put on my dads t-shirt
The last one I would ever wear
I sat in front of the dirty paint smeared mirror on my bedroom floor, staining into my eyes as I started to shake
The next thoughts consumed my head as I though that my mother would come to wake me up the next day for me to say goodbye to her for work and I wouldn't wake up.
I wouldn't be there for anything, I would be a limp body I'm my frail mothers arms, and I couldn't do it
In the next five seconds I had to make a choice , if I wanted everything to end the way I imagined, or if I would stay with my mom, who loves me more than I could EVER know. I remembered that that day I cooked with my mom, I said I love you to my dad and laughed with my brothers, the night before I spent with my amazing best friend, I was going to give all that up in five seconds. The next five seconds changed my life forever
YOU ARE READING
Sad girl hours
PoesíaSad poems HONESTLY WOULDN'T CONSIDER THESE POEMS,MORE LIKE SAD THOUGHTS.
