song: you
By: Basil Valdez
Cover: Ruth Mendoza
warning: death, suicidal
Taehyung P.O.V.
Jungkook had about everything. His looks, voice, traits, and just him in general. I always watched him, how he grew up ever since he was so very young. I wanted to be a friend and possibly a role model for him. That way may have happened.
But I soon started to fall for this boy with the cute bunny smile.
It was that one day, that one stupid day that made me accidentally fall in love. I didn't mean to, I really didn't, but this heart fell for his irresistible soul. His eyes always shined without anyone knowing it, and it really shined with a tenderness that day.
We were only in the last year of high school when you comforted me. Where you said everything will be okay, and that you were always there. I don't think I would've survived that time when he died, my one and only brother. You helped me, and I will always be thankful for that.
When you held my very frail body tightly it made me feel so safe. I felt protected, so much so that I didn't even feel pain for a second, and that second was more than enough. You always stated that I was strong and that I grew into someone that you admired.
I really wished you said that I became a person you love, love. But that's too selfish for anyone's good.
I never knew the impact you left on me until you went to university for a few years. I couldn't go with you, I had my own dreams and you had yours. So when the days kept ticking down till you had to go. I felt like you slowly were making me break apart.
I felt your arms around me for the last time before you left. I kept a smile because I knew you always wanted to go to this certain university, I felt so proud. But my smile never intimidated my crying bones.
We did call, but then you suddenly stopped texting and calling altogether. When all we had left was nothing, I felt like I had lost everything. But my gosh, when I had visited your profile and saw the picture of her. I wept.
Stupid me. Why did I even do this to myself, hoping you'd be back. Praying that you would just hold my idiotic hand. I just hoped, because my brother always said to hope. He always said that I was his hope, and I always said he was mine.
But how can I hope now? When all have vanished.
Just work, eat, sleep, then repeat. I felt so alone for those 4 years, but mostly that 1 whole year because we stopped calling. Now, my birthday was only days away. However, I never saw it as a celebration, because that was the day my brother left the Earth.
I sat down on the window sill with my cup of coffee, as I watched that golden sky turn to black. I needed the inspiration to finish my artwork and or design, and lately, I just had no idea what to make. Or just no inspiration at all.
Until I saw those stars, I suddenly remembered those certain eyes. How before I wrote all my feelings down in a notebook that I have now lost. The way it shared care and it made me fall and break all over again. I started to scribble whatever was in my mind. It was really all a blur with the tears in my eyes.
I slept without acknowledging, and once I woke up I was greeted with the sun again. My pencil fell and the papers from my designing sketchbook has unorganizedly everywhere. I groaned and picked up all those papers.
I lifted the page I drew yesterday and realized it was a picture of his eyes and face. He was smiling that bunny smile. That annoyingly beautiful smile. I dropped my page and started to design the new shirts that I had in mind.
