Emily, Come Home

Four

Trigger Warning: Mention of rape, domestic violence 

I sat in the shower, feeling the water scald my skin. No matter how hot it was or how hard I scrubbed, I couldn't get clean enough. I felt dirty, tainted, degraded. I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed silently.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him above me with that twisted grin. I felt the pain in my lower half. The scent of sweat and sex burned my nostrils. His words echoed in my ears.

"You will. One way or another."

Once the water ran cold, I turned the faucet off and got out. I dressed myself, and as I saw my reflection, I felt the stinging of the tears. There was a handprint around my neck. My eyes were puffy and red. Small, finger shaped bruises had formed on my cheeks.

"Em?" He called through the door, jarring me slightly. I turned back towards my reflection. "Em, we need to talk."

I need to leave. Frankie was right. People don't change. He hasn't changed. I need to get out while I still can.

I opened the door and walked by him, heading straight towards the living room. I couldn't go back to that room. Not after what happened. I sat against the arm of the couch and pulled my legs to my chest. He followed me into the living room and kneeled down in front of me. I stared intently at my hands, wringing them nervously.

"Em, I am so sorry. I don't know what happened. That's not me. You know that. That's not me." I heard the despair in his voice.

"Okay."

"Emily, what can I do? I need to make this right."

"Just let me go."

"Wh-what?" He stuttered.

"I've changed my mind. I would like to go see Frankie."

"You... You don't mean that. You love me. I fucked up. I get it. But, it won't happen again."

"You're right," I agreed as I stood up. "It won't, because I am choosing to go to him."

"Don't say that. I get it. I deserve your animosity, but don't leave me."

"You aren't better, Gerard. You either don't have control, or worse, you consciously decided to rape me." His face paled.

"I didn't..."

"You forced sex on me after I said no. I told you to stop, and you didn't. That is rape."

"No," he shook his head feverishly. "I am better. I didn't-"

"Take me to him."

"No, it's okay. We can work through this. You chose to be with me..."

"That was before you raped me. Now, I have decided that I want to go to him. He wouldn't ever do anything to hurt me," I spat. His head jerked slightly.

"How are you so sure?" His voice shifted. The desperation was no longer there. It was replaced with an almost patronizing tone.

"Because he loves me."

"Does he now?" He laughed bitterly. "Oh, man. I really didn't think he'd be this big of a problem." I rolled my eyes and turned away from him.

"I can't do this, Gerard," I retorted as I walked to the door.

"Where exactly is it that you think you're going, Em?" I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"To Frankie, to Seattle, back to Alabama. I don't know, and I don't care. I'm just getting away from you." As I reached for the handle, I felt him grab a handful of my hair, and he jerked my head towards him.

"Oh, Emily. You won't ever really leave me. Aren't you ever going to learn? Besides, what's so special about him anyway?"

"He would never hurt me, and he has never forced himself on me. He's not that kind of person."

"Oh?" He arched an eyebrow. "So, I guess I'm a little late to the party. Did you and him have relations?" I felt my cheeks burn, and his eyes shifted from amused to angry. "You stupid bitch."

He pushed me backwards until I hit the wall. His hands cupped my face, and he slammed my head into the wall repeatedly. I loosened his grip just enough for me to fall to the floor, and I attempted to crawl towards the door. His heel collided with my jaw, ramming my teeth into my cheeks. The blood pooled in my mouth.

"We were happy," he laughed hysterically. He forcefully kicked me in the ribs. "All you had to do was not lie to me!" He delivered a swift blow to my face. Blood poured onto the tile. "It really wasn't that hard!"

"St-stop," I coughed as I struggled to get to my feet. His heel connected with my lower back, pushing me back to the floor. He shoved me onto my back and straddled me.

"Why'd you have to fuck it up, Em? We were great." His fist collided with my jaw. "Things were finally perfect." Another blow. "You loved me again."

"Ge-Ge..." The words couldn't pass through my swollen lips. He struck me again and again. Each blow blurred the edges of my vision. I felt my body go limp as the darkness crept across my line of sight. The blood trickled down my throat.

My only way out of this is to kill him, if he doesn't kill me first.