24th Male Member: NCT fanfic

6.

I walked with a serious face to the practice room. My stomache kept hurting, sending sparks of pain every couple of minutes. I haven't eaten a proper meal in about a month and I'm loosing so much weight that even the members managers are starting to worry. I went from 130lbs to 110lbs in four weeks. My manager, Danjin, had had me on a super strict diet and excersize schedule. He even makes me practice for way longer than the members do. Not that I never practiced without being told, I just knew my limits and stopped when I was getting dizzy. Now, he checks up on me every couple of minutes. Danjin even sits in the practice room sometimes. Kind of like today. He walked in soon after I did and sat down in front of the mirrored wall with a bunch of papers scattered on the floor. I bowed as a greeting and he scowled before motioning for me to begin the extra practice hours. As I began I noticed him stop his work and lock his gaze onto my figure as I danced. His eyes didn't move away from me and I began to mess up from his uncomfortable gaze. He looked into my eyes and raised his voice.

"You're useless! Don't you perform for people everyday!?! How hard is it to do something right!?!! Again!!"

I nodded and bowed again before replaying the song I was practicing with. His eyes stayed on my frame and I decided to ignore him and get the song finished to prove I can do things right. He continued watching and dug holes into my head as he stared at me. When the song was over and I had finished without messing up he nodded curtly and went back to the scattered papers. A shaky breath escaped my lips and he looked up quickly.

"Was that a sigh?"

I froze and nodded slowly. He stood up and stormed over to me before getting a tight grip on my wrists. My face fell and I looked up at him with wide eyes. He scoffed.

"Pathetic! How can you even be called a man?! Look at you! Trembling in the arms of someone more in charge than you! What kind of a man are you?!! First you can't do anything right and now this? What's wrong with you?! Shape up and loose more weight too! You're so fat that you're dragging down your entire group."

I felt myself grow more and more upset by the minute and he smirked at my watering eyes.

"Awe. Gonna cry? Well too bad! You're going to practice extra hours today. "

I nodded and he let go before sitting down in his spot again. I rubbed my wrists gently and softly to avoid the obviously forming bruises. I felt sadness and dissapointment as I thought about his words. Was I really that much of a problem for NCT? Did the fans really hate me that much?? What did I do? Why don't they like me? Was I really that fat? Was I really useless?

"Get back to practicing!"

I snapped out of my thoughts before changing songs and dancing harder and more accurately. After most of the day and into the night he finally let me go to the dorms.

"You're free to go."

I bowed once again and grabbed my stuff before booking it out of the practice room and the SM building. It was raining and I let out my tears as I walked the short distance to the dorms. I stood outside the door to the 127 dorm with tears in my eyes. Once the tears started falling they didn't want to stop. I sobbed loudly in the pouring rain and thunder before I decided against going home right away. I walked into a park and saw a playground set. There was a small pavilion where I took shelter and let out my tears under where the slide was. My sobs grew louder as the seconds ticked by and I just got more and more upset.

Your members hate you.

Your fans hate you.

No one supports you.

You're stupid and useless.

You're all alone.

No one loves you.

Why do you even try?

You can't succeed.

You won't get anywhere in life.

Go ahead and try to.

You'll always be a failure.

Danjin is right about you.

You really are pathetic.

What kind of man lets this get to them?

Not a real man.

"Jiwon! Jiwon where are you?!"

I sobbed more as I heard the familiar voice of WinWin. He stopped and walked over to where I was under the slide and sighed. Pulling out his phone, he dialed a number.

"Taeyong I found him. He's not too far from the dorms. I'll bring him back. Gather everyone else and make sure they all get back safely. "

He put his phone away and reached down to where I was before helping me out from under the slide. He hugged me right after I was standing and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.
"What's going on? You've been so distant lately. And you've been eating too little. You're loosing too much weight and we're all worried."

I shook my head and wiped my tears before he lead me to the dorms where everyone waited in the 127 dorm. They all stood up and Johnny took me up to our shared room to help me change since I was tired and groggy from crying and being out in the cold. Once I had changed we both came back to the living room and sat down with the others. Hendery threw a blanket around my shoulders as he sat down. Taeyong was the first to speak up.

"What's been going on? You're acting weird and loosing too much weight. What happened?"

I sighed and pulled the blanket around me tighter.
"My new manager, Danjin. He makes me loose weight by not eating and forces me to practice way harder and longer than everyone else. He verbally abuses me and I can't take it anymore..."

I broke down again and soon I was pulled into Jaemin's arms as I cried. He stroked my hair and gently rubbed my back to calm me down. Once I was calm Kun spoke.

"We will take care of him, don't worry. He won't be your manager for much longer."

I nodded and stayed within Jaemin's embrace until I drifted off to sleep soon after Kun's statement.