Picture from http://quemderaserpoeta.blogspot.com/2010/05/o-pecado-entra-pelos-meus-olhos.html
It's got the same letters as sacred, right? So why do I feel so different about it?
I'm scared. Why? I'm changing. Well, not really.
I have to tell someone.
I've been lying to everyone this whole time.
Here's the thing; I'm an actress. I thought that pretending to be someone different at school would help. Honestly, it did. A lot. The person everyone at my school knew was the most developed character I have ever had the privilege of being. I enjoyed being her too. She was kind, shy, minded her own business, had a very sharp definition of right versus wrong...
But she wasn't me.
To anyone who met her...
I'm sorry.
She wasn't real.
She was an act.
She was a lie.
I know acting isn't always lying. But it is if you are doing it and not telling those that you are performing the character in front of that that is all they are seeing... just an act.
I'm going back to being myself, but...
I'm scared.
I'm so terrified.
Sometimes that character even comes through in my actions, even when I'm not being her anymore. This lie has almost destroyed me.
But what scares me the most is the feeling of dread I get when I wonder what my classmates will think of me when I go to school tomorrow. They will see the difference. They may be scared as well.
But I have to do this.
I have to right a wrong.
PeaceDragon22, I beg your forgiveness, since you are my friend at school, and you too will know the difference. I did not lie to you as much, because that's hard to do to a friend. But I'm afraid I accidentally acted in front of you too. That was only meant for others, not friends. I'm sorry. Ekoester, you are my friend, but you didn't fall for the act, since you were my friend before I began it. But I'm sorry you had to watch.
So I'm sorry.
I lied.
I used to pride myself on being the most truthful person I knew. I did not lie until I was five, and I remember that lie because it made me feel so horrible. I didn't do it again until I was twelve. Then again and again after that.
I am a liar.
But I'm going to fix things.
I am going to make things right.
That is my mission.
I am mortified of what will happen, but I will do it.
Please pray for me.
May God bless you.
