OMG...I HA♡TE YOU!

Let Me Take Care of You

Today is the last night of the funeral service and there are a lot of guests who came which makes all of us busy.

No matter how the funeral space became crowded, I still kind of can't take N'Gun off my sight. I know he should have actually felt better and slept way better last night since he stayed with P'Mae but his eyes are telling me something. His eyes are not just swollen cause they look more deep today like the are not showing any emotion at all and that made me freaking bothered.

No matter how busy I get with the chores, I just continued watching N'Gun from a far. I wonder what is he thinking about right now and I can only hope that he is not overthinking. I can't just randomly confront him cause I might scare him off.

All I can do for now is to maintain a little distance from him so I can continue observing him and just patiently wait for him to ask for my help.

It was already late midnight but there are still a lot of guests coming by and I got so occupied for a little longer time before I realized that Gun is already missing. As soon as I get the chance, I hurriedly went out to look for him.

I kept on walking for more than 30 minutes already and unfortunately I can't still find him. I am actually about to panic and planning to go back already when I noticed the park a few steps away from me.

I ran towards the park and luckily I found a small guy in a hoodie sitting in a swing looking lifeless and defeated.

"N'Gun...." I said as I got near him and before he was even able to react, I pulled him towards me and hugged him tight.

"Please don't scare me like this, N'Gun... I got so freaking worried about you to the point that my heart hurts so much right now."

"P...? P'Off...?" he said with his weak voice. I can tell that he's about to push me away gently but I hugged him more tight instead like I can no longer let him be away from me.

"N'Gun, don't try to push me. I won't let you go that easy." I told him then I gently patted his back and his head alternately.

"I told you to tell me if you need my help right? I asked still hugging him and he just nodded as reply before he sobbed again.

"I-i'm so sorry, P'Off." he said while sobbing some more.

I loosen our hug then I held his chin upfor him to look at me but it seems like he wanted to avoid my eyes as he firmly closed his eyes so I just decided to caress his face.

"It's okay to cry but please promise me next time that you'll let me know or let me be there to watch over you. It's okay if you want to hide yourself in the dark but please still let me know..." I said while still caressing his face with my right hand and supporting his body weight with my other hand.

He is no longer sobbing but tears still keep on flowing down from his closed eyes and I don't know what else should I do to make him calm down other than continuosly making him feel my presence by caressing his face and rubbing his back.

Fuck. I don't want to imagine what he is feeling right now inside his heart or what is running through his head cause just by looking at him looking lifeless like this can already make me all shattered.

I can feel that his whole body is shaking so I guided him to sit down at a nearby bench. He settled his head on my left shoulder in between my face and neck. He is still silently crying so I just continued hugging him and at the same time rubbing his back.

"I'm really sorry, P'Off." he said with his weak voice as he moved away from my hug and wiped away the tears from his wet face.

"Shhh... stop it. Don't say sorry. You didn't do anything wrong." I said as I reached out to his face and helped him wipe his tears.