Far From Perfect

Chapter 38

I wake to a gentle caress on my cheek and smile when I realize who it is, but when reality sinks in and I remember there's a chance Nate may hate my guts now that whatever Miranda gave him wore off, my smile falls right off my lips. I keep my eyes closed but don't move, and feel as his fingertips move to my lips. He runs his thumb over my bottom lip and I wait with bated breath, hoping he'll kiss me but he never does.

My eyelids flutter open and I look up to see the most beautiful pair of electric blue eyes staring back at me. But unlike the ones I saw hours ago, these are full of life and joy. Something I hadn't seen reflected in them in months.

"Morning, beautiful."

"Morning, Nate," I whisper, feeling scared of what's to come.

"You really care about me, don't you?" Nate says, taking me by surprise. He cups my cheek and I don't hesitate to lean into his hand. I close my eyes as I feel a tear drip down my cheek and onto his palm.

"Of course, I care about you." I open my eyes to look at him as I say, "I always have."

"Why? I don't deserve you. Not after what I've done and said."

"I deserved the brunt of your anger for what I did."

"No, you didn't," he says, shaking his head. "You didn't deserve anything of what I said. You deserve better than that. Than me."

"I did."

"No, Alexa," he protests.

"Let me talk," I tell him and he quiets down. "What I did was wrong but if you'll let me, I promise to make it up to you." I take his free hand in mine and smile when he intertwines our fingers.

"I could have hurt you, Alexa." I look into his eyes and see that he's hurting and it breaks my heart. I hate that he's so broken up over what he did in his inebriated state. "I was so stupid and careless. I don't understand how you can even want to be with me after that?"

"But you didn't and I know you never would. What I said to you that night you drank came from a very hurt place inside myself, and I'm truly sorry for what I said, but I know as well as you do, that you would never be capable of hurting me. Not now. Not ever."

"How can you have so much faith in me after everything I've put you through?"

"Because I trust you, Nate. I trusted you with my heart once and I'm entrusting you with it again. You know why?"

"Maybe but I want to hear it anyway," he says with a cute grin as he releases my hand and brushes my messy curls from my face.

"It's because I love you, Nate. I love you so much it hurts but I can't imagine my future with anyone but you. You're it for me, Nate. It's always been you. There's no one else. Just you," I reiterate and this brings a smile to his face.

"Just me?"

I nod. "My heart is yours and only yours," I say, placing his hand over my heart. He splays his fingers over my chest and I feel my heart begin to hammer against my chest, showing him just how much I love him. "Every breath I take is for you and you alone. You are the reason I exist. You are my soulmate and the reason I came to this world. I know that now and can't imagine a future where you're not in it. Please forgive me, Nate. For everything."

"I forgave you a long time ago. I was just too damn stubborn to admit it. When you told me about your kiss with Johnny, I knew you were being sincere when you said you regretted it, but I was so hurt I wanted to hurt you back for what you did, but I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. You hear me, Alexa?"

"I hear you. Loud and clear," I say with a smile and a sniffle.

"I can't promise I won't hurt you again because I'm not perfect and mess up a lot but I promise to do my damndest to never hurt you again," he says, reminding me of where we had been not too long ago when I had made a promise to him just like it in the shower. "I love you, Alexa."