You're Not Alone

Linda's New Vow

"I can't possibly put into words how happy, thankful, ecstatic, and every other word for complete and utter joy I am. My husband is finally home, and, even though he goes back in a few months, he's here. He's here, and he's gonna help birth this little devil. I write this with joyful tears in my eyes. Part of me wishes the baby had already been born, in a healthy state of course. That part of me that wishes the baby was born is purely for the sexual drive in me. I thought I was horny before all this. Danny's gonna have one hell of a good time satisfying my needs."

Linda looked at Danny, a small smile gracing his face. She flipped a few pages and continued the reading.

"Today, I finally let loose. I cried, for no apparent reason, I cried. As ever, my loving Danny came down to the kitchen to see if I was okay. I apologized, but he shushed me. He kissed me, and that's when I let loose. I took his lip between mine, and I sucked, almost violently. He pulled me into his lap, and kissing me fervently. Piece By piece, our clothes came off..... he was on top of me, my skin hot against the cool floor of the kitchen. He rubbed my thighs, and my womanhood pulsed. I chickened out; I'm not cleared for sex yet, because it was a stressful birth. But I could feel the passion in him, I know he wants it as much as I do. And, when I'm cleared, I know we're gonna have the best sex of our lives."

Linda flipped a few more pages, and cleared her throat. It was going to be hard to read this one.

"He noticed my hair. Out of the blue, he noticed my brown hair. He smiled a slow, loving smile, and I saw that familiar glint in his eyes.... Linda skipped the sexy parts, because she knew she was going to get turned on. "As I'm trapped between the wall and him, I realize that he's stronger. A lot stronger. He could probably break a bone on the first try. But I know he wouldn't do that. He's gentle with me, like I'm the most precious metal in the world. He knows that I'm metal, so he's rough with me. He bites, his grabs, he spanks. And I like it more than I'll admit. Just writing about it know has me pulsating.
"His lips are on mine as I crash. He knows I'm loud, and, frankly, I know that he enjoys that fact. But with a three year old and a five month old baby, I have to be quiet. And honestly, trying not to make noise during sex is arousing in itself....
"The feeling off his fingers gripping my hair, guiding my head to his liking is always such a turn on for me. Even if it's not below the belt. In high school, I loved his fingers tangling in my hair.... I swallow multiple times, spit and his juices run down my chin and neck. I kiss him passionately, making him taste himself.... what I said earlier about the best sex of my life?... I was wrong."
Danny's face fell, his eyes fixed on his long-since gone cold eggs. He was mad at himself yet again for not giving Linda the amount of love she deserved.
"It was a thousand times better." She saw him shyly look up. She turned to another page.

"I take the few minutes I have to myself this morning to write this. Usually, my diary is a private thing. I don't share with anyone, even Danny. But he needs to hear this one. Danny, you've been through all the levels of hell over and over again for four years. A few nights ago, maybe days, but at some point you told me that you were the only one who made it out alive. For both tours. I can't possibly imagine how you feel. I've tried to help you by myself, but I can't do it. I simply can't. I really do think that talking to Brie will be a good thing, but if you don't make progress with her, we'll stop. Danny, you deserve the world. And I can give you only as much as I can. I can't turn back time, I can't raise your buddies from their graves, I can't erase the sights that plague your mind. But I can stand by you. I'll be there when you call. I'll catch you when you fall. So here's my new vows."
Linda closed the book and sat down across from him. She took his hands in hers, "Daniel Fitzgerald Reagan, I, Linda Rose O'Shea Reagan, promise to stand by you no matter what. I can't change the past, bring back your troop, or rid of the horrid memories. I can, however, make your future the greatest. I can declare that I'm your troop, in our army of two. I can replace the horrifying memories with amazing ones. I, Linda Rose O'Shea Reagan, promise to help you store all the awful sights and sounds and memories into a little box in your mind. The box will be opened from time to time, whether you want it to or not. But when those memories start swirling around again, a message has to pop up. One that says, 'remember the vow your wife made. What did it say? Talk to her. She's a great listener'. I'm with you for life; we're together by the bonds of love, and nobody can destroy that. I love you, Daniel Fitzgerald Reagan, with my whole heart. I thought I gave you all the love I possibly could, I thought I couldn't possess more. But I was wrong. These last few months have taught that. You're strong and brave, all while your hiding insecurities, weaknesses, doubt. Never be insecure about my love. Never think my love is weak. Never doubt my love. If I didn't love you, I would be living in a rundown house with a jerk for a husband who constantly degrades me. You're the best thing I have ever said 'yes' to. And I wan' you to be the best thing I ever said 'yes' to today, tomorrow, next week, next year, sixty seven years from now. I love you with my whole heart, and if it takes a life time for me to prove; if I have to tell you over and over again.... well, it'll be my favorite phrase to repeat."