One Drop of Golden Sun

Ch. 15 Girl in a White Dress

*Ray

It's not that the hospital was boring, but even as attractive as Zach was, there was only so much time she could spend staring at him. Besides, he was awake now, which made staring seriously awkward, and he wasn't very chatty. She was getting tired of hearing her own voice.

Sure, she had lots of great stuff to say, but he didn't seem interested in long term, coral reef rehabilitation or migration patterns of sea-turtles. Good stuff. She loved it. He just wanted to hold her hand and say he loved her hair and eyes.

"God, your skin is soft," he whispered, stroking her hand.

"Thanks."

"I wish I could feel more. As soon as I'm better, we should go camping, just you and me," he said. But he was looking at her chest. Which made her warm-up inside with little heat flutters, but at the same time made her wonder if he wanted her or her boobs on the camping trip.

The memory of what happened between her sister and Russell on their first camping trip came to Ray's mind. Beth had spilled all the juicy details to their mom out of frustration when her ex-husband decided he wanted her back. She almost laughed out loud, but managed to cough instead.

"Don't you want to go?" Zach asked. "Camping, I mean?"

"Sure! I love camping. I've never done it, but it sounds fun. What's not to love—the night sky, sleeping on rocks, no toilets..."

"But it would be just you and me alone. Wow. Your skin really is like silk."

More flutters. She jumped to her feet. Was she ready for a night alone with Zach? Really alone? She swallowed. For the first time, she wished she hadn't agreed to her mother's offer of getting one thousand dollars for remaining a virgin until after graduation. Because after waiting for that big leap all through high school, she realized she now had to be picky about boys. When all your friends get their first awkward experiences out of the way young, later dating is as big of a deal. But Ray waited patiently. She couldn't throw all those long years away on a nobody, a cute, but ultimately forgettable boy. It had to be something.

She was at a loss for words in her own head. This was bad. She really should go home.

Right. Because there had to be a reason now—a fireworks in July reason, a thunderstorm of emotions, a kiss in a downpour connection, a throw away everything else and follow that person to the edge of the world romance—for her to trust a boy with her virginity at that point in her life.

And she couldn't quite imagine it with Zach.

"Are you going?" he asked. Hurt, puppy-dog eyes blinked up at her.

"I'm sorry, but I'm so tired. I have to get back to the house."

"Hey, about that house, those guys don't bother you, do they? I was thinking, maybe you should find an all-girls house or somewhere safer to live."

"Yeah," she said, confused. "No. I'm good. All right, I should—"

From that angle, a folded piece of notebook paper was visible under the hospital bed. She stooped to pick it up. "What's this?"

"Uh, I don't know. Must have fallen from my bag or something."

She unfolded the paper to check. Her name graced the first line. "Wait, this is..." As her eyes scanned the contents, her voice trailed off. The words swept her up in a torrent, and all she could do was hold on as she kept reading. The letter was beautiful in a way she couldn't describe, only keenly feel. It scraped her raw. It drowned her. She reread, skipping to parts of sentences, phrases, individual words, as though she couldn't read it in whole again. Not yet.