All the broken things - Asanoya

9: Knowing you, knowing me

Asahi woke up after only a few hours of sleep,with his phone still in his hand, because of a weirdly uncomfortable feeling spreading from his chest to his thorat.
8:30. Nishinoya must be already awake and in the school, but there was still no answer to his text.
He spent almost an hour the previous night re-reading their last messages. He asked him out on a date. Or almost... "You mean like a date? " that was Noya's last text to him.
When he opened his phone to send his sorry he still had the message typed in, never to be send: "Would you be okay with going on a date with a guy?"
He was never this close to coming out to the libero, at least as he remembered... Not like he could recall this. It was driving him crazy to not know what made him so brave... Maybe something happened between them? Damn! His memory loss wasn't this obvious to him till know. He had days of his life, memories and experiences, everyone else could remember except him. What else he might have missed?

The only thing the hospital room was good for was to keep him without any stimulus, which only increased his over thinking. He kept on checking his phone every few minutes, but there was no word from Nishinoya. Maybe he waited too long? He might not want to talk with him anymore....

Sometime in the afternoon he felt asleep again, although the feeling in his chest was still there radiating to his mandible.

He woke up a few hours later to be greeted by their short libero, sitting in the chair at his legs, visibly being bored.
- Noya? - Asahi's voice was hoarse from sleeping, but it still mad the boy's face light up with a smile.
- Finally! I didn't want to wake you up- he straightened out himself in the chair, paying all his attention to his upperclassman.
- Why are you here?
- You asked me to talk ... - Nishinoya got confused. Maybe he shouldn't be here? Maybe someone else used the spiker's phone to text him?
- Yeah, I know... But you didn't text me back...
- Oh? You wanted to talk through phone? I am sorry, should I leave?
- No! - Asahi's answer came a bit faster than it should, but honestly it felt good to the libero that he was wanted there - I mean, I was just waiting for an answer and thought you don't want to talk cause I didn't hear from you...
The former spiker was delighted to see Nishinoya back, even those weird sensations in his upper body couldn't bother him anymore.
- Of course I want! I wanted to talk with you in person, just I couldn't come sooner because... - Nishinoya stopped mid sentence and changed to one of his fake smiles - Never mind. I am here now.
Maybe it would have worked with somebody else but not with Asahi, who spent the last two years with observing him from distance. That's sounds creepy, he wasn't stalking him or anything, just the pure energy and light radiating from the short player was attracting him like a lamp would draw a bug closer and closer, even when he realized his feelings and how bad it could go if somebody finds out, he couldn't keep his eyes off of Nishinoya. He noticed him first as he stepped into the gym, he saw all of his digs, heard all of his critique and praise, he was painfully aware of every time they touched despite it being only the slightest accident, and his laugh caught Asahi's ears even if he was on the other side of the gym. On the same manner he noticed every single time Nishinoya went crazy for their manager or any other girl.
- Why you couldn't?
- It's a long story, don't worry about it! Not important at all!
- Noya, do you think I have anything else to do? - Asahi give him an assuring smile - Not to mention, it would be a nice change if for the first time since I woke up somebody would talk to me about anything else than my accident.
- Asahi, it's really nothing, just... - the persistent questioning look Asahi gave to his underclassman got the better of him so he finally confessed what happened- I couldn't ask my parents to skip school again our to drive me here.
He could feel something weird about the way Nishinoya said this, and although normally he would been afraid to push for too much information, this situation was different, he saw that something bothered the libero and he knew him well enough to know that he wasn't really the type who liked to keep things inside.
- Why not?
Nishinoya looked away, his fingers fidgeted with the sleeve of the sweater he was wearing, like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
- I kinda told my mum that I like boys....
Asahi's eyes widened from surprise, he wasn't really expecting this answer. He still clearly remembered how anxious he was before coming out to his family, even with them being so close to each other. Not to mention, Asahi till now, despite all of the indication from other people, wasn't really sure that the libero might be truly interested in the same gender.
- How did she react?
They were both observing each other's faces tensely, Asahi looking for any sign of distress on his underclassman's face cause by his coming out, and Nishinoya was curious about the other's reaction on admitting that when he says he likes him, it might not be just platonic.
- She is not happy, but it's good I think, it could be way worse... It's just feels really awkward with her now. Like I am walking on ice at home, and now she reacts a bit different about me coming here.
- I am sure she will get used to it, my mum is really critical but she said only good things about her. And if you are similar to me, it will feel a lot better to not have to keep secrets before your family... - the blood run in Asahi's face suddenly - I mean... You know about me, right?
Nishinoya let out a friendly, uncharacteristicly shy smile, not his ear-to-ear grin he had most of the time, just a tiny reassuring one.
- Yeah, your mum told me.
- You know, its weird... You were always been so much into Shimizu, I never thought you...
- I go both ways! - Nishinoya interrupted rather proudly before he could finish his sentence.
Asahi knitted his eyebrows.
- Then why? Why don't you just choose a girl, and then you don't need to go through all of the bad side of this?
- I can't really do that, I tried - Nishinoya answered with guilt sounding through his words - I think you might have noticed me pushing so hard to have a crush on Shimizu-san, but I just couldn't help myself to unconsciously bringing back my attention to you.
- To me? - the older boy's voice was barely louder than a whisper.
- Common Asahi, you are smarter than this! - Nishiniya face-palmed himself slightly annoyed - Of course you, how you can't connect it still? What should I do? Sing you a serenade under your window?
- Why? Noya, you could do so much better than me! - his own words left a bitter aftertaste.
- Cut the bullshit, you are fucking awesome! - the libero jumped up, letting his previous annoyment develope into anger. He wasn't angry at Asahi, he was angry on himself, because he couldn't make him understand how outstandingly extraordinary and perfect he is.
Asahi was perplexed by answer that left him speechless. It was one of the things he adored about Nishinoya, he could make him feel special even when he was bedbound in a hospital.
- Since when? - he muttered after some time.
- I don't know - Nishinoya suddenly felt quite shy - It was after our fight that Ryuu pointed out that I might not be straight, but I think you were kinda special to me even before.
Remembering that fight still lingered with sadness every time Asahi remembered it.
- I behaved awful with you... Back then... I think I never properly apologized... I just... I was scared to let you down again.
- You returned, thats enough - the smile appearing on the libero lighted up the whole room for Asahi - Not like you could have possibly done anything that I wouldn't be willing to forgive. Like, honestly, man, I was low-key obsessed with you!
The blood rushed in the face of the older boy.
Nishinoya reached out for his hand, looking up on him carefully.
- Can I?
Asahi instead of answearing finished the move himself and locked their fingers.
This small innocent touch was enough to take his breath away. He looked on their hands and then on the boy next to his bed with awe. He was truly the most gorgeous sight he will ever lay eyes on. His perfectly athletic body, the cool blonde lock of his hair, his absent smile and his eyes which shined like honey while returning the same starstruck gaze that he had himself.
- I can't belive we never really talked till now - Asahi broke the idyllic silence first.
- Knowing us its not that much of a suprise - Nishinoya laughed up, it felt like he did it for the first time in months.
- You are right - Asahi's warm smile and the feeling of the little sweaty but warm, big and strong palm on his made Nishinoya's heart flutter.
When the first wall of feelings passed, an evil thought crawled itself in his mind as a boisterous smile appeared on his face.
- By the way, I like your phone's background! - he managed to even wink at the gentle giant before he brust out laughing.
Asahi turned to the brightest shade of red rather quickly.
- N-Noya... You were not supposed to... Daichi...He made... I mean... I know....I am sorry - he stuttered like a little boy who was caught red handed.
- Hey, calm down - the libero squeezed his hand a little - We should have definitely talked at least after that kiss. You truly left me there stunned, it was amazing!
- I don't remember you makeing a move later that night either, I was looking for you at the party but you disappeared with Tanaka...
- I tried to talk the days after! - Nishinoya defended himself - But you avoided me then...
- I am sorry - his voice was full of shame - But I felt too guilty anytime when I was around you after that first excitement passed. I felt like... like I forced myself on you in a stupid game, and I was sure I must have disgusted you to your core, and it still wasn't enough. I thought if we were gonna talk, I was afraid, that if I am near you I would do it again, without an excuse of a game, and you would just ask me after to stay away from you as far as I can...
Nishinoya looked at his upperclasman as he saw him for the first time and then brust out laughing.
- You are stupid - he managed to form some words finally, but before it could have made Asahi feel bad about himself he quickly added - You are stupid for not seeing how amazing you are. ASAHI, that was my FIRST KISS and you totally blow my mind! It felt like aliens kidnapped me and throw me off in another dimension! You repeating it later with no people around us it would have been...like... HELL YES! - it was strange to talk about his feelings to Asahi so openly,
but now the spiker was smiling too, slightly blushed still, but smiling, so it was worth it.
They spent years just dancing around each other, keeping everything a secret, and now the whole thing just came so naturally. They only held their hands, but Nishinoya already felt like there was a huge weight shifted from his chest. He knew he can tell Asahi those things, and he won't hate him for it. He could finally tell him how awesome he really is without being terrifed of being too much and freaking him out.
Asahi seemed to ease up too, he was smiling, sometimes stroking the back of Noya's hand with his thumb. Everything would have been perfect, there was just one small thing that caught the libero's attention.
- Hey, do you want me to call the nurse? Do you have pain?
- No, why? - Asahi seemed confused.
- You keep reaching to your chest unconsciously... I thought it might hurt...
- Oh that... No, its not pain... Just you know, that weird feeling, it goes from here - he pointed on his sternum and then pulled his finger up along his neck - to here. It feels like my blood is too thick? It that makes sense... I don't know. Most likely it's nothing, but it feels like it's getting worse.
- I will call a nurse, just to be sure - Noya headed to the door.
- Wait, it's really no need...- Asahi's voice was suddenly cut off by a loud, almost barking sound coming from him.
Nishinoya spinned around faster than he thought he is even capable of, just in time to see his right arm suddenly fly to his chest. His eyes seemed to bulge at the younger boy, for a moment. He looked confused and his eyes were begging for help but just for a moment, and then he was gone.
His body was jerking, and halting, noises coming deeply from his throat. His legs were shaking, muscles contracting and spasming. His eyes stared up, ahead, look at nothing.
His neck seemed strained in the position he bent it, his mouth stretched open, like he was in pain. His arms spasmodically beating on his chest.
Nishinoya relaized he was just standing there in terror. He forced his muscles to move, and then to jump, as fast as he could to reach the door. He kicked it open, and then started to shout as loud as his lungs could.
- HELP! Help! Please SOMEBODY!!!
He turned back to the hospital bed.
Asahi suddenly arched his back, his chest is now lifted several inches into the air, his legs stiff, his arms hard as boards by his side, he was chockeing for a moment, and then his body floped to the bed like a lifeless rag, only for the invisible forces start to drag him again.
People ran into the small hospital room. It seemed like an organized dance around him, everyone knew it's place. A nurse took away the bedside table where Asahi could have hurted himself, somebody else put down the bed from a half sitting position to a completely lying one.
Small words were enough to order around.
- Diazepam - a midle-aged female, dressed differently from the nurses shouted, and somebody was already on his way.
- Who are you? - a face covered out the terrific sight of the wriggling Asahi.
- I ... I... - Nishinoya was not even sure he could remember his own name.
- Come with me - the young nurse gently pushed him out of the room.