A Time And Place

Part 5

Tuesday, September 10th, 2019
3:40 PM
Ben's Book Barn
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    We Finally arrived at the bookstore which took way longer than expected. Good thing that it's only 78 degrees out today, otherwise I would have been dying from the heat.
    "Finally! Took us long enough." Remy says as she sees the sign 'Ben's Book Barn' from a short distance. The store wasn't big at all. It was a small little store on the wall that not many people go to. It was very open, no windows or doors. Just some railing and that's about it. We walked inside the small store and started looking around. There were more books than you would think. They were all split up into separate genres and alphabetizes as well. I Immediately go straight to the science-fiction area and Remy moves towards the teen fiction section on the other side of me. I start browsing through all of them looking to see if there are any interesting titles.
    "When was the last time you were here?" Remy asked from the other side of the shelf. I pushed for a second, I've been avoiding this place for so long that I didn't even realize. I've been so focused on Remy and my dream that I forgot about my mother.
    "A couple of months ago." Here of all places. Why this place? Out of all the places and stores in this small town, why did it have to be this place?
    "Geez, did you come here alone or do you always invite random strangers off the street." I laugh a little.
    "Actually I came here with my mother from time to time. She was a writer and read all the time. I'm not much of a reader myself but I do like some books." The thought of my mother made my heart ache. I took a look around the store and felt this giant weight over me. It was my fault she died that day. I couldn't do anything to save her from the crash. It should have been me.
    "Was? Is she not a writer anymore or something?" Should I tell her? Should I tell her about the accident and how I killed my mother?
    "She's dead." There was silence. She probably hates herself for asking that question. I shouldn't have said it that way. A full minute passed by and the silence was killing me. "Don't feel bad for asking, alright? You didn't know." She breathes in deeply and sighs. I hear her footsteps getting closer and closer then, they stopped. I look to my right and there she is, just standing there with tears in her eyes. She quickly walked over to me and gave me a tight hug. I was surprised at first but then I hugged her back. It was really nice to be hugged by someone and especially right now. Right now I really needed a hug, and I didn't even know that I did. But she knew. She knew that it was something I needed. She knew I wasn't okay. She knew that I was hurting deeply inside just by being in this store surrounded by memories of her. She knew.
    We stood there in the store just hugging for a full 2 minutes. To me, it felt like we were hugging for hours. She lets go of my body and looks at me straight in the eyes. She smiles at me as tears fall down her face. I couldn't help but cry a little too. Just having someone here with me to share my pain with is comforting. I have never experienced this kind of connection between someone before. It's kinda strange at first but also very relaxing at the same time. She wipes away her tears and I did the same. She smiles again and looks at the exit.
    "I'm thirsty after all that crying. Wanna grab some smoothies from across the street?" I was shocked that she changed the subject so quickly but it made complete sense to. She didn't have to say anything at all. Just her hug and tears were enough to love and comfort me. I guess it's true that actions say a lot more than what words can.
    "That sounds really good right now." She still doesn't know how my mother died. She doesn't know that I was the one that asked her to drive me to this very bookstore to pick up a new book. She doesn't know that the accident happened on the road outside of this store. She doesn't know that the bus driver wasn't paying attention and ran the red light at the same exact time our light was green. She doesn't know the pain and suffering I went through when I woke up in the hospital and found out that my mother was unsaveable. She doesn't know... And she doesn't need to know... Not yet.
    We stepped outside of the shop into the warm summer air. The sun lit up Remy's face like a ray of sunshine. I look over to the other side of the street and see the little smoothie shop she was talking about. It was colorful and had a bunch of people inside and outside drinking their smoothies. We walked over to the closest intersection to our left and waited for our turn. The crosswalk light came on and we began walking. As we were crossing, Remy dropped her phone. She tries to grab it but she accidentally kicks it farther down in the middle of the crosswalk. As she walks past me to grab her phone, my alarm goes off. I pulled out my phone quickly and saw the time. 3:56. All of a sudden, I could remember my dream from last night. All the memories started to rush through my head all at once like I was having a flashback. I remembered that at this very moment,
"Remy!" I ran towards her as fast as I could. I should see the bus coming straight for her and she doesn't even realize it. It was getting closer and closer. I don't think I have enough time. I can't lose her, I just can't! That was the only thing running through my head. Not her. And especially not the same way my mother died. I jumped and I fell onto the ground on the sidewalk. I can't lose her...
Then, I hear it. I hear the drive by and crash and angry cars honking their horns. I was scared to look underneath me. Was she still here? Is she safe? Did I lose her? I pushed myself up off the ground and looked down. There she was. Laying on the ground in front of me...I didn't lose her... She's safe...