Getting shot wasn't that bad in the end

Cut the bullshit!

Callen's pov:
The whole team is currently in my room, talking about everything and nothing. I however am not really listening, to worried about Alejandra as well as Deeks. I have seen his devasted look in his eyes after he had quit. Right now he went with Hetty out of Alejandra's room. He looks absolutely nothing like he always used to. His whole demeanor is stronger, like a real fighter.
When they walk back, Hetty has slumped shoulders. Deeks however has an unreadable expression, he only looks towards my room for a brief second before opening Alejandra's and therefore isn't in my few anymore.
„Can you guys go outside for a minute? I would like to talk with Hetty." I ask them, it however was clear that I wouldn't accept a no from either of them. So to no surprise, they stand up and leave me back alone with Hetty.
„I am pretty sure that we have lost Mister Deeks." she says without me asking, averting her eyes on me as well while she tells me this.
„Why is that? I talked with him and he was absolutely ecstatic that Sam and I won't tell anyone and that he could stay on the team! So why the sudden change?" I ask her and myself. This whole thing makes absolutely no sense!! A heavy sigh lets me look back towards Hetty.
„He doesn't trust me to keep his secret, even is sure that I am going to rat him out. He is already planning a new identity for himself and his mum. Apparently the only reason he is still here is because he wants to be there for Alejandra, who just like him think this badly about me." she says a bit choked up. I never saw her this devasted, and I would of never thought I would ever see her crying. Or well, with tears in her eyes which she keeps on fighting to not let them fall out of her eyes.
„Hetty, i am sure deep down they know you would never do anything like that! They were just trained to not trust anyone! And about Deeks, I am sure he only tries to make the best choice for his mum! He only wants to protect her as best as possible." I try to sooth her as best as I can. I however am pretty sure that this won't help her to much. She has already made up her mind that she is the bad guy here, and it might look like that from one point of few. But deep down we all know that she only always tries to look out for us all. That's why she wants to know everything about all of us, because it's the only way to keep us all safe and sound!
„Do you think if I am stepping down from my position that Mister Deeks would get back to working for the NCIS? He is a part of this family and I am not going to be the reason this team will lose a family member." she questions me to my utter shock. My heart has already picked up once again.
„Hetty, don't even think about it!!! You are just as much a Family member than Deeks and the rest of us!" i tell her trying to sound as stern as possible.
„If i am the reason for him leaving than me leaving would solve the problem. He needs you more than you may think Mister Callen. And a family needs to trust each other, and that seems to be not the case. Otherwise Mister Deeks wouldn't believe that I never wanted him in this team. Or Mister Hanna of you yourself Mister Callen would of told me about the situation that was going on." she answers me with slouched shoulders and resignation in her voice.
„Hetty!" i mumble out, heartbroken that she really thinks I don't trust her, or the whole team doesn't trust her.
„Deeks and Alejandra asked us to please keep this to ourselves. It had absolutely nothing to do about trust, it was about keeping a promise." I explain her softly. She only shakes her head though.
„I don't know. Maybe it's the best to leave, I am old enough to retire anyway." she says after a heavy sigh.
„Is everything alright? Your heart is beating like crazy!" Chris asks while entering the room. He only looks once between Hetty and myself before lifting an eyebrow at me.
„I am fine, thanks for asking though." I answer him with a small smile.
„But could you please send Deeks over here for a minute? I think the three of us should talk about a few things." I ask him. Hoping he would be willing to help me on this one.
„Ok." he says after watching Hetty and myself for quite some time. The second he has left the room Hetty looks at me in wonder.
„This Nonsens need to end! And right now is a good time for that!" I tell her with a small shrug, instantly feeling a strong pain through my whole chest area. A soft knock was heard only shortly before Deeks enters. He takes a stand by the door and instantly crossed his arms in front of his chest.
„You wanted to talk to me, so talk!" he says in a voice that is totally uncommon for him, way to stern if I am honest. There is absolutely nothing left that used to be our happy and crazy Deeks.
„Deeks Listen, this needs to stop. We need you in our team! In our family!! And you need us just the same!" I tell him matter of factly. His dark chuckle lets me look at him in surprise.
„Believe me, I don't need you guys. My family is in the other room waiting for me. Other than you, they would never betray me! They would do everything in their power to keep me safe!" he answers me just as coldly.
„Really!? So who of us would betray you!? I really would like to fucking know that Deeks!! Because none of us ever gave you a reason to think that! We may have teased you but not once did we meant to hurt you nor did we mean it!! And you sure as hell know that as well!! So don't give me this shit!" I tell him angry he would even think and especially say something like that!!
„You all made it more than clear to me that I am not an agent, and as a fact that alone should be reason enough for me not to be in the NCIS! I am only risking kensi on every special OP since I am not qualified enough." he answers me right away.
„So please do tell me where the problem is? I am finally leaving like you all wanted me from day one! So let me!" he adds with a challenging look in his eyes.
„None Of us ever said kensi isn't safe with you! Do you really think i would of let you guys leave the fucking headquarters if I really thought you weren't qualified enough!" I ask him feeling myself getting angrier by the second. My chest also hurts a heck of a lot since I sat myself up while arguing. I see his eyes slightly look towards the right, as if thinking about what I just said. And that's when it suddenly dawned on me, he wants me to get angry towards him! He wants me to hate him so he doesn't need to make the decision on leaving himself!!! Oh, that is definitely not going to happen!!
„Hetty offered to step down from her position, she thinks of retiring so you would stay along with us. Because we are a family! And you belong in this family if you like it or not!!" I tell him way quieter. He also seems to realize that. Realizing that I understood his plan.
„Listen, i appreciate it. I also appreciate everything all of you guys have done for me till now, but I can't risk my mum! I can't risk for the guys or Alejandra to be found because of me. And I also can't allow you guys becoming targets as well only because you know me!" I says after a heavy sigh. Looking at him in surprise. So, he can't stay with us because we all would possibly become targets.
„Deeks, no one of us know anything about your past, apart from being a member from Alejandra's team. So how are we being in more danger now than a month prior?" I ask him, trying to argue with facts.
„You really don't need to retire Hetty. I kinda know that you wouldn't tell anyone. Still, I need some time to think this through." he says after a few minutes of looking me in the eyes. He goes to open the door when something popped into my mind.
„And Deeks! If i were you i wouldn't even try to run. Because I promise you we won't stop until we find you!" I tell him in a promise. His small smile lets me think I have said the right thing.
„Well, now its a waiting game what he is going to decide on doing!" I say to a still quiet Hetty.
„It seems like it." she agrees with a nod. Slowly I let myself sink back into the bed, mindful not to hurt myself once again by moving to fast.
„Is everything alright Mister Callen?" Hetty questions me in worry after watching me grinch a few times.
„Yes, I am good. Just need to ask Chris for some pain medication." I answer her while pushing the call button. Suddenly feeling completely drained from that conversation. Nd just as the door open my eyelids close themselves.