Adiya Amir

Twenty

Recap: Chidima tensed, her fingers were shaking while her eyes were watery when Sabby gaze met with hers.

"Diya can you please go out with your other friend to give us privacy?" Sabby ordered softly when I stood up to wait outside when chidima grip my hand and shook her head vigorously.

"Please don't go" she gulped, the vulnerability was shown in her voice.

I glanced at Sabby for permission whether I could stay and she nodded but Sumaya had to wait outside.

"So tell me since when have you been smoking?"

~~~~

"So tell me, since when have you been smoking?" Sabby opened a notepad and took a pen from her front pocket to jot down.

Chidima's hands were shaking profusely while I took her hands in mine and caressed it to soothe her.

"When I was five years old," she said in a small voice while Sabby jotted it down.

" Ok, Why did you start smoking by that age?" she raised her head up while twirling the pen in her mouth.

"Because I wanted to be close to my mom. I wanted her to love me. I thought I should have something in common with her" she replied.

"How did it start?"

"Mother smoked anywhere, anytime. Then one night, I went to the kitchen and saw her smoking, I was intrigued then I took the cue. I went inside and took a paper and lit it" she responded but her voice was distance as if she wasn't with us again.

"Does your mother ever found out?"

"She did when I was six years old" she smiled softly, "she called me and gave me a cigarette to inhale it. When I did, I cough a for sometimes before she smiled at me. I was happy because it was the first time she smiled at me" she spoke, her hands had stopped trembling.

"Why are you still smoking?"

"This is the only reminder of my mom that I'd left. Even though she is alive but she is dead to me" Chidima seethed on her seat.

"Why?"

"Because" she inhaled loudly before rubbing her shoulder softly, "whenever I told her about brother Shola and his friends, she never bothered about me".

"What did he do to you?"

"At first he talked to me softly and always comforted me when I was sad. He filled the parental love for me but then he started toying with me. Saying I was his favourite girl. I was happy then not knowing he was a wolf in sheep clothing. He broke my trust with every thrust he and his friends had put in me" she spoke with a trembling voice that pained me to the core.

"Okay,"

"He would chain me in his bed, he and his friends would be laughing at my miseries as they took turns on me. My mother would hear my scream but because of the drugs and drinks they were giving her, she would not help" she sobbed, "Then I found my solace in smoking, it helped me overcome everything. I smoked two to three pack a day because it calmed me down. It was the only thing that brings me joy and euphoria" she laughed maniacally, "but I can't stop it" she said, standing up abruptly, pushing me away so hard that I fell on my ass.

"I need a cigarette now" she shouted, walking toward Sabby's table wobbly and scattered it searching for a cigarette.

"I need to smoke" She wailed, "Please get me a cigarette" she sobbed profusely.

She yanked the bag we brought from me and started to search furiously for what was not in the bag. I felt my heart broke for her.

She started scratching her body brutally shouting, "I need to smoke".