Summer Nights

Part 6

She fell in love the first time when she was a kindergarten student.

Nagumpisa yun sa buhanginan, habang naghuhukay siya para sa luray-luray niyang sand castle. Her auburn hair reaches her shoulder, illuminated by the sun. It was summer at that time. Nakikiuso lang siya no'n. Kahit hindi niya alam pano gumawa, dahil nakita niya yung maldita niyang kaklase na kayang magbuo ng castle, nainggit siya. Kinulit pa ni Jaein ang papa niya para lang bilhan siya ng pinakamagandang shovel at pale sa tindahan malapit sa school.

("Dali na, papa! Please!"

"Ang dami mo nang laruan Jaein-ah. Magagalit si mama mo sakin!"

"Alam ko saan nilagay ni mama yung mga baraha."

Kasing bilis ng hangin maglakad ang papa niya habang nakasakay siya sa balikat nito.)

Tapos napuwing siya. Iyon na ata ang pinakaswerteng araw niya.

When she blinked her eyes, tears unconsciously pouring, she saw him. Or more like naaninagan niya. Laughing while spraying mud to their classmates, his grin so wide she couldn't believe someone would look so angelic. Then it turned towards her and his beaming smile  enlarged. Lutang siyang umuwi ng bahay at punong puno ng putik at buhangin ang damit. Napalo pa siya ng mama niya.

=/=

The next time she saw him, he was sitting on her table. It surprised her, really. He was an unusual face. No one messes with her because once, she kicked Han Ga Eun on the stomach and he was sent to the hospital--apparently he just finished eating at that time-- and she gained her reputation. Go Jae In, the violent girl on the sixth street. But there he was, without any care about his surroundings, eating his packed lunch.

Actually, she didn't mind him sitting there. It was her classmates that did mind. She was infamous for a reason. Para hindi naman magtaka ang mga kaklase niya, sinipa niya yung table sa gilid ng lalaki. Tatakutin lang sana niya pero hindi naman malakas yung pagkasipa niya; para lang umilaw yung sapatos niya*. Kaso, nagulat siya at biglang kinabahan. Right at that moment, she saw how this would all play.

Nalalaglag ang batang lalaki sa upuan at nagiiiyak. Nangingisay na animo'y bulateng nilagyan ng asin. Lahat ng nasa paligid niya, kapareho ang expression ng mukha; takot at hindi alam ang gagawin. Later, she learned that Myung-hee called for their teacher. Napatawag ang principal sa papa niya.

"Go Jae In! Ikaw talaga! Pasaway kang bata ka!" Piningot ng nakatatanda ang tainga niya.

"Aray! Papa! Hindi ko naman alam na may sakit siya eh! Nasa upuan ko kaya siya!" Hindi niya maintindihan bakit galit na galit ang papa niya. Kung hindi niya ginawa yon, sigurado mawawala ang reputasyon niya sa classroom. Ibubully lang uli siya.

"Tinuruan ba kita ng ganyan!? Go Jae In, sinasabi ko sayo! Hindi kita palalabasin ng bahay sa susunod na ginawa mo yan!" She pouted as he opened the car for her. Kahit na sa front seat niya gustong umupo, wala din naman siyang magagawa. Galit ang papa niya.

Tumugtog ang kanta ng Strawberry fields habang tahimik lang ang mag-ama. The ocean was calm beyond the cliff in the road. Her father's eyes were focused on driving but she knows when he was thinking. Bata pa nga siya, marahil. She will never understand the look of terror in his eyes or the stress brimming within him. She reasoned out that maybe, it was a parental fear for their child. He was just disciplining her, it's for her sake.

(Then, Britain happened and she saw how hollow their, her parents, eyes. It's not their fault, she answers that annoying voice inside her.)

=/=

"Ayoko na, Jinho! Puro na lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!"

"Sige! Ayan naman talaga yung gusto mo sa umpisa pa lang. Ginawa mo lang naman akong panakip butas!"

"Ayoko ng magpaliwanag! Naririndi na ko sa mga excuses mo!"

"Hindi ikaw si Anri, Minha! Umpisa pa lang alam mong hindi tayo nagpakasal dahil may gusto tayo sa isa't isa!"

"No. It was all about you and my sister. Maybe I should've left you and your daughter all on your own."

"Yeah. Siguro nga iniwan mo na lang kami ni Jaein nung namatay ang ate mo."

She has known right from the start. Hindi siya anak ng mama niya at hindi niya kapatid ang ate niya and maybe, it was wrong to think of hating them but it was there, living in the corner of her mind. That her mother's love was measured even before she realized her own reality.

She came to the shore without thinking. It was soothing to be there even if she was all on her own and the waves continued to crash on the rocks. Pale and shovel sitting beside her, a quiet companion to that stormy afternoon.

"Ang layo ng tingin mo, Jaein," she was never good at knowing people by their voice but she was sure it was unfamiliar.

"Wala naman akong kausap eh. Baka mas maintindihan ako ng kawalan," she answered shrewdly, feeling intellectual at that time.

"Baka nga. Kaso baka kunin ka din ng kawalan."

This time she really turned her head and she was caught off guard. "..Jae,"

"Pwede ba kong umupo sa tabi mo?"

Tumango lang ang batang babae at mas lalo niyang naramdaman ang kaba sa dibdib. She glanced sideways, hoping to catch a glimpse of his hooded eyes. It was still there, the twinkling that made her stare at that time.

"Pasensya ka na, Jaein. Napatawag pa tuloy si teacher sa papa mo."

She snorted. "Okay lang yon."

"Ganun ba?"

She didn't reply, letting the breeze of air touch their skin. It was almost fall, the hot air of summer nowhere to be found. Change would probably do its magic on her life but she wouldn't know what will happen.

"Bye, Jaein."