Red Roses, Aster, and Peonies

3

With a groan, he buried himself back into the blankets. He could hear the alarms going off- the sounds of Ivan walking around, but he couldn't bring himself to move. His body felt like a rock, and his mind was full of static.

He felt the bed dip, and a hand traced down his jaw.

"Good morning little dove," he heard Ivan whisper, but he couldn't bring himself to look up at him. He felt numb.

He smashed his face more into his pillow.

Ivan just hummed, tracing the stripes that were visible on his shoulders and arms, getting down to his wrists and kissing the scars.

"It's a bad day," Alfred muttered, "I don't think I can..."

"You don't have too," Ivan replied, kissing him on the chin and ear, "I love you."

"I love you too," he said softly, patting him on the chest because it was all his hand could reach before it flopped down like a sack of bricks.

Ivan smiled weakly, kissing him on the cheek before brushing the hair from his face, putting his hand on his forehead to test his temperature before deeming him normal Alfred temperature and pulling himself away.

He heard footsteps as Ivan walked away, hearing a door open and close. He left. He couldn't help but feel lonely- the worthlessness would be next.

He covered his face with the comforter and tried to see if he could inconspicuously smother himself.

He heard the door open again and wondered just what exactly decided to bother him before he felt the comforter shift.

He closed his eyes as the blanket was pulled away, exposing only his face. He felt a hand cup his cheek and looked up to see Ivan standing over him.

"Can I pick you up?"

"No," he replied before covering himself back up with the blanket. It was pulled down again, and he glared up at Ivan. He felt like an asshole but he really did not know why he had come back.

"Please?"

"Fine," he muttered, feeling himself get lifted off the bed with ease, Ivan carrying him bridal style as he leaned into his chest, making sure he wasn't going out of the room before he relaxed, feeling the bathroom door get pushed open.

He was sat down on the ground before Ivan bent down beside him. He could hear the shower going.

Ivan kissed his eyelids before leaving the room.

Alfred groaned, pushing himself up. Jackass was making him move? Bitch.

He slipped his sweats and boxers off, throwing them to the side before he practically tossed himself into the shower. If he got this done quickly he could go back to sleep without incident.

He washed his hair and body before stepping out, grabbing a towel before he froze to death, drying himself before getting back into his sweats, and looked into the mirror. He stood in spot, touching his cheek with his fingers, tracing under his eyes as tears welled in them.

There was a tapping sound on the door and he looked over just as the door opened.

"Do you want to go back to bed?"

"Yes," Alfred replied, grabbing onto a hand that Ivan left for him to take, being gently pulled towards the mess of sheets and blankets. Ivan let go of him as soon as they were beside it, Alfred looking at it before looking back to Ivan and taking a step forward, putting his forehead against his chest, feeling the beating of his heart against his head.

He felt two hands rest on his lower back, feeling his body get pulled forward. He rested his head over his heart, feeling the dampness of his hair dripping to his shirt.