Apocalypse ✦ Nomin

22

Jeno awakens in his old room, finding a figure standing by the window with the curtains pulled back, revealing the night sky. His face is illuminated by the silvery light of the moon, bringing a sort of ethereal look to his appearance.

"I'm surprised you're here," Jaemin says quietly.

"Likewise," Jeno responds as he props himself up onto his elbows, "It's rare for me to have similar dreams in similar places. Especially not consecutively."

"That's a very weird observation to make in the middle of a dream," Jaemin points out, "Is this a dream?"

"Of course it is," Jeno laughs, "What else could this be?"

Jaemin lowers his head.

"I...I dunno," he murmurs, sounding almost disappointed.

"Hey...what's wrong?" Jeno asks with a frown as he pulls himself up to sit up in his bed.

"They took my ring," Jaemin says quietly, "They are worried you cursed it, and Mark knew it was from you...so...they took it."

"What the fuck? There's nothing wrong with it! I only enchanted it to alert me if a demon was nearby," Jeno cries out angrily, "I was using it to protect you back before all of this shit went down!"

Jaemin turns himself to face Jeno.

"Is...is that true?" Jaemin inquires, "Why did you never tell me that?"

"I thought I did," Jeno insists.

"I don't know," Jaemin shakes his head, "My memories from before being taken by Mark and Taeyong are extremely fuzzy. It's hard to remember things fully."

"Did they do something to you?" Jeno asks as he feels his muscles tense up.

"I dunno...I don't think so. I think my memory is just failing me," Jaemin dismisses it.

The two then fall silent, as Jeno considers what to say next. He wants to bring up Xiao's blackmail, but he doesn't want to talk about things related to the apocalypse. No...Jaemin was speaking to him as if he missed him and was wanting to just talk with him. He didn't want to bring up a subject that would surely end with either a dispute or both of them in tears.

No.

He didn't want to bring the real-world into this. This was their time to spend together, no matter how little it may be.

"You know I miss you...right?" Jeno speaks. Jaemin shrugs as if doubtful of how Jeno feels. "You know, if this is just a dream, and dreams don't pose and real consequences in the real world, then what's the one thing you would want to say most to me right now?"

Jaemin chews on his bottom lip as he hesitates answering. Jeno understands there must be a lot of things he wished to say to him, and finding the right thing he wanted to say most was certainly nothing less than a struggle for Jaemin.

"I hate you," he finally says, causing Jeno's heart to sink, "I hate you for all the pain you've caused me. I hate how you refuse to back down from this war despite knowing you could kill me. I hate you for forcing me to remember when you wanted to be with me more than you wanted to appease your dad. Hell, I fucking hate you for leaving me when I need you the most."

Jeno lowers his head and frowns deeply. He takes the hits, knowing damn well Jaemin has every right to be upset like this and to hate him for what he's done.

"But you want to know what hurts the most about all of this?" Jaemin asks as his voice now comes from beside his bed; Jeno feels his bed beside him dip down as Jaemin crawls onto it beside him, "It's that despite all of that, I still love you and I still want to believe that deep down, you're still the same man I fell in love with. And I don't know if I'm being naive or if it's even really there but...I still want you."

Jeno looks up at Jaemin, his eyes glossed over with pain and regret. He's hurt Jaemin in ways he can never take back. He vowed to protect him but ended up putting him through torment, instead.

Jeno's subconscious really refused to let up on shaming him for his actions.

"I'm so sorry, Jaemin," he utters brokenly, "I can't take back what I've done, and I know nothing will ever make up for it...I'm just...I'm so sorry."

Jaemin scoots closer to Jeno, his knees nearly touching his right thigh. He places his hand gently against Jeno's cheek, causing him to raise his eyes to meet Jaemin's. They stare at one another in silence as thoughts race through Jeno's head.

"If this really is a dream...then...nothing we do here matters...right?" Jaemin asks in a near whisper.

"Yeah," Jeno confirms.

"Then, fuck it."

Jaemin leans in close and kisses Jeno hard in a rough, needy manner. Although initially shocked, Jeno quickly processes what Jaemin was doing and surrenders to it. He kisses him back in a much gentler fashion, but feels his heart overflowing with emotion. He maneuvers himself so that he can properly face Jaemin, and he rests his hands on Jaemin's waist. They were as close as they've been in a long time, but it wasn't enough for Jeno. He wanted more.

Jeno trails his hand up to rest on Jaemin's chest, but just as he intends to push him to lie down, a loud bang and a frantic voice startles him awake.

"Jeno! What the fuck did you do?"