Apocalypse ✦ Nomin

17

⊱ ───── { Jaemin } ───── ⊰

Jaemin lies in bed in his pitch black quarters, feeling his stomach twist and turn in knots. He had already vomited twice, but the nausea persisted for hours.

He should have gone to bed.

He shouldn't have tried using his powers, again.

But Jaemin wanted to know what Jeno was doing. He wanted to know why he had been with his parents and why he was in purgatory, but this wasn't the entirety of his reasoning. No. What he wanted most of all in that moment was to feel some sort of connection to Jeno, again. He wanted to feel something. Anything. He wanted this, even if he knew it was an incredible invasion of Jeno's privacy. Still, he did not expect to hear Jeno thinking of all the ways he wished to torture his aunt. He could not fathom the thought of doing some of the unspeakable things that crossed Jeno's mind, much less envision how his aunt's fact must look now that Jeno has effectively mutilated her into a bloody, pulverized mush of brain, meat, and bone matter. It severely aggravates Jaemin's nausea each time the imagined mental image crosses his mind.

To make matters worse, Jaemin somehow managed to reach out to Jeno. He didn't entirely mean to, therefor making the success of his pleas for Jeno to stop even more shocking. Jeno seemed as shocked as him, but to continue using his abilities proved to be impossible after speaking to Jeno. It made him far too ill and extremely weak.

As much as the entire situation startled Jaemin and deeply disturbed him, he couldn't help but question why Jeno would do such a thing if he hated him. He had much bigger things to do than to kill his aunt for harming him, and to care at all to do such a thing makes Jeno's previous statements make less sense. He clearly has not broken their bond, therefor leaving him to still have the capacity to feel a sense of love and loss for Jaemin, but why hasn't he, yet? Why seek vengeance for him, instead? Jaemin didn't know, but he did not want to get his hopes up. So long as Jeno's father was whispering things into his ear and controlling him like a puppet, Jaemin knew he would never stand a chance. Even if, by some miracle, Jeno changed his mind, where would that leave Renjun? Jaemin knew deep down he couldn't just leave Renjun, but he knows all too well that he would choose Jeno in a heartbeat if given the chance.

Renjun deserves better.

Jaemin deserves better.

But not together.

A light knock at Jaemin's door alerts him of someone's presence. The door opens, causing a blinding light to enter the room through the crack. Jaemin squints at the unbearably bright light, trying his best to focus on the man speaking to him.

"May I come in?" Chenle's soft voice inquires politely as his head peeks in, "I have something for you."

Jaemin slowly lifts himself onto his elbows, trying his best not to agitate his nausea, again.

"Yeah," he confirms, and Chenle enters with his hands behind his back.

"So...Jisung gave me a few things to give you," Chenle states as he slowly drifts towards Jaemin's bed.

"Huh? What is it?" Jaemin questions in deep confusion, but Chenle just gives him a warm smile before pulling his hands out from behind his back, revealing a soft white teddy bear with a blue bow. Jaemin's heart pangs as tears instantly begin to form in his eyes.

"Wh-why would he give this to m-me?" Jaemin stammers as he takes the bear with shaky hands, feeling confused as to if he wanted to reject the bear or hug it so tightly, the stuffing would burst out of it.

"He said Jeno couldn't take it. He told Jisung to give it to me to give to you. He also wanted you to have this," Chenle holds up Jaemin's ring which Jeno had given him.

Jaemin mindlessly takes it and looks at it blankly as tears spill from his eyes.

"Wh-why?" Jaemin questions with a cracking voice.

"Well...Jisung told me Jeno still loves you, and he misses you more than he's willing to admit," the gentle man informs him, "I don't know much else about the situation, nor what you plan to do with these items now that they're in your possession, but...I've done my part."

Jaemin's breaths become shallowed and frantic as his eyes become faucets. He clenches the ring in his hand and squeezes the bear tightly in his arms.

"Is there anything I can do to help make you feel better?" Chenle offers, clearly feeling sorry for Jaemin.

"J-just l-leave m-e," Jaemin sputters out.

"But-"

"Go!" Jaemin demands as he slowly sinks back down into his bed.

The room was spinning faster and faster around him, so he shuts his eyes as tightly as possible. He wanted it all to stop, to go back to the way it was. Why couldn't he be happy with Jeno? Why was Jeno so persistent to harm him while defending him in an unnecessarily violent manner? Why did he want him to keep these things yet want to eradicate what they have? Nothing made sense, and it only made things worse to think about.

Jaemin hears the door to his room click shut, leaving him by his lonesome to sob uncontrollably while his world continues to cave in on him.