Apocalypse ✦ Nomin

53

Jeno grazes his fingertips lightly against Jaemin's cheek, trailing them down his neck, past his shoulders, and along his arm. He feels goosebumps raise on Jaemin's skin at his delicate touch and smiles faintly. He reaches his hands and lightly taps his fingers against Jaemin's knuckles, just barely touching him. When he finally takes up his hand to hold, he notices Jaemin smile.

"I thought you said you were trying to rest more," Jeno tuts at him, and his eyes flit open.

"I was trying to...but I couldn't stop thinking, so...I'm awake," he explains himself, "Why do you always have to do cute things when I'm sleeping? Or when you think I'm sleeping?"

"I don't know what you're t–"

"Feeling my heartbeat, playing with my hair, whispering affirmations, carefully kissing my forehead or cheeks–"

"Oh...that..."

"Yes, that."

Jeno's face heats up in embarrassment. He chuckles awkwardly at realizing he had been caught red-handed on multiple occasions.

"You weren't asleep when I did that?" he asks.

"You don't exactly wait for me to be asleep, sometimes," Jaemin points out, "I typically don't react so that I don't embarrass you."

"What's so different about now, then?" Jeno huffs with a slight pout.

"Because I want you to do that while knowing I'm awake," he utters quietly as his eyes flicker to Jeno's lips.

"You say that like I don't show you affection when I can," Jeno states as he notices Jaemin's line of sight.

"Well...I just really need it right now. Besides, it seems like we're constantly fighting some type of battle or worrying about whatever looming threat is hanging over our heads. I just want to take a moment and make it about us. Nothing else."

"I know," Jeno utters as he squeezes Jaemin's hand a little tighter in his, "But everything's gonna be okay."

"I hope so..."

Jeno frowns deeply at this. He scoots closer to Jaemin so they're now face to face, and he presses his forehead against Jaemin's.

"I think it's time I told you a story I've kept to myself for a long time," Jeno speaks in a soft voice, "One night, I was in my study, reading up on blood based curses. I remember sensing that someone was approaching my house, so I mentally prepared myself for whatever was coming my way. When I opened the door, I saw one of the most beautiful beings I'd ever seen in my life. He was a timid thing, and he was particularly stunned by how...hm...what's the word he kept thinking of...Oh yes. He was stunned by how cute I was."

A smile slowly creeps onto Jaemin's face, encouraging Jeno to go on.

"I normally would turn people like him away that seemed to only be approaching me because of a dare...but something about him drew me in. It drew me in, and it scared me," Jeno admits, "I quickly planned out a few things that would surely scare him enough to never come back, but the longer he stayed, the more I began to feel guilty for terrorizing him. He showed me compassion despite terrifying him, and he never left despite what I did. To this day, I strongly believe he was very stupid and naïve for doing that, but his persistence confused me. I chased him into my sacrifice room and intended to seal the deal so that he never returned...but the way he was screaming and begging for his life...it felt like my heart dropped. In that moment, I backed down so quickly, it scared me. I passed it off as a joke, and by some miracle, he believed it."

Jeno vividly recalls how it felt to watch him so terrified, and it makes him uneasy.

"It was the first time in years that I felt...well...anything," Jeno murmurs, "Xiao and Jisung both suggested I sacrifice him to my father and told me from the beginning that they knew he was an angel. I denied it. I convinced myself that there was no way that could be. I was internally fighting unfamiliar feelings I didn't understand, and I went into a state of denial despite knowing something wasn't right. For the longest time, I denied what I felt when I first saw him, and I suppressed the memory of how shameful I felt making him beg for his life. It took me months to realize I cared for him. Months I spent making him feel like I was leading him on, just to be fighting for his life every single day without being able to come up with a single reason as to what I would gain from doing any of it. Months I'll never be able to get back. Still...I've never once regretted meeting him...He's the love of my life...I only wish I hadn't made him suffer so much because of me."

Jaemin closes the space between them and kisses Jeno sweetly.

"I'd do it all over again, if I could," he says as he brings his hand up to Jeno's face, placing it gently against his cheek.

"I just wish I could give you the life you deserve."

"And what exactly is that?"

"A normal one. One where we go to university in a city far away from our hometown and share a small apartment. One where our only concerns are our shitty jobs and getting good marks. Where one day I could wake up and tell you I want you to meet my mum, so we take a drive back just to see her. And we spend the whole day with her just laughing and talking about how life has been..." Jeno rambles on, "She would have loved you."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Jaemin smiles and kisses Jeno again.

"You shouldn't feel bad for that. Loving you came with angels and demons and being runaways, and I accept that. Would a 'normal' life be easier? Sure. But circumstances don't matter. I want you. I'll happily accept whatever comes along with that, because the only thing that matters to me is being able to be with you," Jaemin says softly as he rubs gentle circles into Jeno's cheek with his thumb.

"I love you...so much," Jeno breathes as he snakes his arms around Jaemin's waist and pulls him as close as he possibly can, "I promise, I'll never let you go, again."

"Neither will I," Jaemin seconds.

Jeno leans in and presses his lips softly against Jaemin's, kissing him soft and slow. He parts his lips and takes Jaemin's bottom lip between his teeth and sucks lightly on it before proceeding to kiss him deeply.

Jaemin entangles the fingers of his right hand in Jeno's hair while resting his left hand against Jeno's chest. He slowly closes his hand into a fist, grabbing onto his black turtleneck shirt he had worn when they first arrived. Jeno suddenly becomes painfully aware of their limited wardrobe aside from suits, and he makes a mental note to fix that, tomorrow.

"Stop thinking about clothes," Jaemin breathes.

Stop reading my thoughts.

Jaemin smirks.

So we're communicating like this, now?

Jeno rolls his eyes.

Can you just let me kiss you in peace?

Jaemin pushes Jeno to get him to lie on his back while simultaneously rolling on top of him. He straddles his legs on either side of him and pushes himself onto his hands to look down at Jeno. He grins at him with a sort of mischievous look.

"I don't think I will," Jaemin hums.

"What are you trying to accomplish?" Jeno asks as he cocks one of his eyebrows.

"Nothing. Teasing you is just fun," Jaemin chuckles lightly.

"I thought you just wanted a sweet moment together. Why do you gotta ruin it?" Jeno points out.

"I think I'm making it better."

"For you."

"How about for both of us?" Jaemin suggests as he dips down and kisses Jeno's jaw.

"Go to bed, Jaemin," Jeno shakes his head.

"But babyyy," Jaemin whines.

"Don't 'baby' me. You're not a child. Stop acting like one," Jeno lectures him, causing Jaemin to pout.

"Can I pwease kiss youwr neck?" he asks, causing Jeno to wince.

"Never talk like that, again. Dear fucking god, never talk like that, again," he grimaces in a simultaneously pained yet disgusted manner.

Jaemin snickers, trying hard to stifle his laugh as much as possible as he bites down hard on his lower lip.

"I'm sorry," he barely manages to get out without laughing.

"You should be," Jeno responds, causing Jaemin to collapse onto him. He buries his face into Jeno's neck and begins howling with laughter.

Despite still feeling residual cringe from hearing Jaemin baby talk to him, he can't help but smile at how much he was laughing. It makes Jeno's heart well with happiness and love. He could listen to Jaemin laugh for the rest of his life, and it would be a blessing.

Na Jaemin...I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with you...