Breaking Death

Chapter 5: I'll Still Have Me

I balked at her words as I asked for clarification. "You're Tiamat?"

She nodded solemnly. "Yes."

My breath hitched in disbelief before I continued. "From the Babylonian creation myth they drilled into our heads at Imhullu? That Tiamat?"

She smirked as if proud that I knew about her. "That's right. Yes."

I sensed my confusion mounting. "You're the goddess of chaos."

She scowled. "And creation, yeah. Everyone always forgets the 'creation' part of the 'goddess of creation and chaos' title."

I leaned back into my seat as my dismay grew and my breathing became slightly more ragged. "There's no way you're a god."

Her look went from prideful to concerned as she noticed my negative reaction. "You're panicking, Meriwa."

"I'm not panicking. This is just a weird dream. It has to be. I can't be talking to a god after wandering through her massive hedge maze after dying in Carbry's arms. That's all just impossible. But...I did die so there's that, and I don't even think you can dream when you're dead. I- " 

As I spoke, I doubled over and put my hands on my knees, trying to make myself breathe normally. Was I really dead? Is this the normal afterlife? Is this all there was? A fucking garden and a creepy woman who looked kind of like me?

Upon seeing my reaction, she sighed deeply before speaking, "I can be someone else if it's easier."

When I looked up again, she had shifted into the form of a young child, and my breath caught at the sight. The goddess now looked like...me as a kid, the little girl whose brother helped her escape the torturous life in the Imhullu facility. Nevertheless, her youthful, purple-eyed gaze revealed the wisdom of her years and still reflected her worry about me. 

However, the change did little to quell my anxiety. When she saw that I was continuing to panic, she shifted once more, this time turning into someone that shocked me into silence: Pop.

"Calm down, Mer, hon." When she, well he, spoke, it was with my grandfather's voice, and tears came unbidden to my eyes as I stared at my long-dead relative.

I frowned at her, my gaze narrowing as I leveled my accusation, "You're not my grandfather."

She laughed then, but it was his laugh and the sound made my heart ache. "No, darlin' I ain't. I am a manifestation of him I created based on your memories and my own recollection to help you process this. You're dead, hon."

My scowl deepened. "No shit, Sherlock."

Now she as Pop frowned. "I'm only tryin' to find a way to help."

"Well, you're not. Go back to your creepy, kind of me, kind of not me goddess form."

Sighing, she shifted back to the form I'd initially met her in, but at least all the changes seemed to have made me calm down.

"Better?" She asked with a hopeful smile.

"No." I scowled, but I could breathe a little bit better. Upon seeing that I wasn't panicking nearly as bad, she leaned back in her chair and grinned widely.

"Okay, now that that's over, let's get back to the introductions. I'm Tiamat, and I've had my eye on you for a very, very long time, Meri."

"Why?"

She shrugged before speaking, "Well, I assume you know that many ancient polytheistic cultures believed the gods were real and came to earth quite frequently."