chubby // 2jae

03

"I know what you're doing."

"AH!"

Youngjae yelped as his hyung spoke, not knowing he was there.

Mark was leaning against the wall watching Youngjae do sit-ups, concerned. A few minutes ago he had snuck into the room out of worry for the younger.

Youngjae immediately stopped, his face turned down.

"What do you mean? I'm just feeling a little under the weather, that's all-"

"Youngjae, don't lie to me. I used to do the same thing. All the being too sick to eat?"

The younger fidgeted with his hands, not wanting to admit it. Mark's eyes softened, and he kneeled down next to Youngjae.

"Look, it's nothing to be ashamed of, okay? Body dysmorphia is more common than we  think, but you can't starve yourself-"

"Thanks, Mark. But I'm fine."

"What? Youngjae you can't hide it from me, I used to do it too-"

"I said I'm fine. Please leave."

Mark ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

"Jae, nobody can help you if you don't-"

I don't need help.

"Mark, please. Leave."

"How bad is it? I hope you're not forcing yourself to throw up cause that's-"

"God, Mark. Will you FUCK OFF?"

Mark flinched and stood up. He had never seen the younger like this. He was still on the floor, and he had looked up at him with this face-

A soft knock sounded on the door. Jacksons rough voice drifted through it.

"Everything okay? We heard some shouting."

"We just had a bit of an argument, babe. It's fine."

"Okay. You coming to bed tonight or staying in here?"

"I'm coming."

The two heard him walk back to his room, the tension heightened. Mark crossed his arms and sadly opened the door.

"Jae, I... I really hope you know how much we all love you for the way you are. You know that, right?"

Youngjae turned his face away in shame. Tears threatened to spill out of his eyes as Mark left, quietly closing the door behind him. He quickly wiped them away, resuming his sit-ups. His mind swirled.

I didn't know Mark used to have body dysmorphia. I hate that term, it sounds like I'm sick- I'm not sick, am I?

He shook the thought out of his head. He wasn't sick. He was just fucking fat. The word overwhelmed his mind and he worked even harder to burn calories.

Once his torso became tired, he switched to lunges, relishing in the burn of his thighs.

-

In the other room, Mark stayed awake with Jackson's arm over his waist, snoring. He remembered how terrible he felt about himself until he got with Jackson, and Youngjae didn't deserve that.

Nobody deserved that.