Big Daddy Donny P's Finest Hour

Chapter 5

Ronald P. Christian stood up to defend himself as Donald P. Christian leaped forward, blade in hand. Donald's Power of Love clashed with Ronald's coffee cup, sending a shower of sparks everywhere. Every sword swing that was made was deftly blocked by the cup in an almost impossible manner. The two jumped back from each other, leaving a bit of distance between themselves. "How are you doing that? It's just a mug!" yelled Donald, his voice rife with frustration.

"It's simple science, Donald. How am I blocking your moves with my coffee? Simple. This isn't any ordinary coffee," replied Ronald. He took a sip of it and smiled. "It's hot." Ronald splashed some coffee at Donald's direction, and without thinking, he tried to block the coffee with his sword. Ronald smiled as Donald did so, smile turning into maniacal laughter as the sword began to melt.

"What? Impossible, love always prevails!"

"Love?" Ronald began to laugh even more. "Love? What the fuck is love?"

"Love is something amazing and beautiful that my mom told me about, something the likes of you Hydra people would never understand!"

Ronald laughed at this presumption. "Pfft. Moms are trash."

"Excuse me? ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS!" Donald reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue lightsaber.

"If she breathes," Ronald began, pulling out a red lightsaber. "SHE'S A THOOOOOOOOT!"

The two ran at each other and clashed, saber against saber. The very essence of good and of evil, two core values and extreme polar opposites were at play. The world around them seemed tense and quaking as the tower crumbled from the raw emotion of their heated battle. From a distance they seemed evenly matched, but Donald knew better. Despite having the better moral compass of the two, he was not at all winning. Inch by inch, he was being pushed back to the edge. He looked back slightly to see that the tower was surrounded by a lake of lava. He could try to fly over it, but he also knew that if there was anything he could do, Ronald P. Christian could do it as well. He scanned the room, looking for anything that would help him in this battle. Not too far from his left was the desk. He nodded to himself, assured that his new plan would aid him in the achievement of victory.

As he deflected one of Ronald's attacks, Donald jumped onto the desk. "It's over, Ronald P. Christian. I have the high ground!" 

Ronald rolled his eyes in response. "Oh will you shut up, Star Wars isn't that good! It's just overhyped!" Ronald rushed at Donald in rage, blindly swinging his saber towards Donald's neck -- just as Donald planned. With one deft motion, he ducked and then cut Ronald's legs off using his saber, causing him to keep flying into the wall behind him as he had no footing -- literally. The already crumbling wall broke, causing the evil Ronald to fall towards the lava. Donald looked on as Ronald fell, just in case he had any last plans. However, Ronald had no more tricks up his sleeve. He simply put his fist up to the sky and attempted to say "Hail Hydra", but his words were cut off as Donald threw his saber right into Ronald's mouth. "Shut up already," he said, rolling his eyes. Ronald's body hit the lava and caught fire, disappearing with a small puff of smoke and dropping a few experience orbs.