And Also I'm Really Scared 「kiribaku fic with deaf Bakugou au」

Chapter Eight

Kirishima's POV

Okay I'm officially freaking out. One second I'm being playful and trying my best not to flirt with Bakugou; the next, I'm in the bathroom trying to reason with the same person about what happened out there.

He can't hear me. I can hear his panting and cursing from behind the door, and I'm having to listen to one more of his voice cracks away from sliding under the door like an overly curious five-year-old.

"Bakug-" It's pointless for me to try talking to him, he can't hear me worth crap right now. And it doesn't help that he's not in a clear state of mind right now.

My chest and stomach ache with a deep pain of sadness, to the point where I could feel my own eyes start to heat up. Having to listen to his whimpering literally felt like gunshot wounds. Which I know what feel like, I've gotten shot twice just last year.

"Dude I really hope you don't about the, uh, pool boner-" I shakily dig a hardened finger into the doorknob to unlock it. My digits get fairly sharp when hardened.

The knob clicks and I quickly budge the humble door open. Trying my best not to throw up out of pure fear, I fell into the stall clumsily. I looked up and tried my best to hold my racing thoughts together so I can focus on the task at hand.

"Shu t the do or!" Bakugou barked at me. I shut the door.

The ash blonds head of hair was still a bit wet but was on its way to being dry. His face was streaked with a mix of harsh tears and pool water. He looked grumpy and sad and uncomfortable while sitting on the toilet. Still fully clothed of course, I don't know why I need to mention that. 

His arms were wrapped around his torso tightly in an attempt to self-comfort himself. He's biting his lower lip and avoiding eye contact with me. His shirt and trunks were still dripping wet with pool water. There's no doubt that he looked like a wet kitten.

"You didn't- h- have to come- in-" He's choking up and shivering and I really can't comprehend that I'm seeing Bakugou in a panicked sate.

I try to think back to when I'd have panic attacks and what were the things that would calm me back down. I can't really remember ever having something that calms me down, I typically just wait for the episode to pass.

Then I think about things I've been told that might help calm me down or prevent one if I feel it about to happen. Have him acknowledge it's a panic attack? Practice breathing techniques. He's already hyperventilating, I really doubt he'll listen to any advice I have to offer.

When I'd have an episode back at home, I'd usually use a focus object or think about being in a better place. But again, I sincerely don't think Bakugou will listen to me right now.

I really hate being touched while having an attack. In every other situation I absolutely adore physical affection, from basically anyone willing to give it to me. But when I'm having one-hundred thoughts per second; trying to literate and process that someone is touching me is the last thing on my to-do's.

"Can I hold you?" I'm starting to panic as well. I haven't helped Bakugou in any way so far- I'm becoming desperate for ideas. I've heard somewhere that being held during a panic attack may help some people feel more secure.

He looks at me like I have Voldemort Himself growing out of my dang forehead, and I really don't blame him for that.

I watch his movements carefully, observing the rapid movements of his chest. How he's trying to squeeze his eyes shut but wants to understand what I'm saying. I feel really bad for not learning more sign language sooner, but sure enough he uncurls himself just a little.