12:30 a.m, and I couldn't sleep.
My head was hurting from me drowning myself in the thoughts of the past.
I sparked my wood up as I sat there for a minute just to watch the cherry glow.
Looking at my phone checking the time like
"man why my man ain't home?"
It's been a while, and I felt it in my gut he was cheating.
We were young, in love, and we had a baby.
I couldn't believe it.
Now we're wealthy, substantial, and have lots of sex.
Damn, I was a dummy for letting him lead me into regrets...
I put my wood out in the ashtray that I got from this one urban market.
"Hey, baby why you up?"
He asked as he crept into the room silent as the night.
"I was wondering the same thing you get off work before 12," I stated
He instantly gave me a sigh like he was so exhausted.
Little did he know I smelled perfume I know I don't wear and would hate.....
Undressing him for his hot steamy shower.
The fog hides the mirror I no longer see my reflection.
I'm in my head reciting
I was at home waiting for you for hours.
Having war between my heart and my mind like
this is not fair.
can't let this go.
All these years that I've been there.
"Why do you smell like a bitch?"
I asked.
" Look don't ask me questions, I pay the bills. who are u to question me?" He said with a momentous face.
"I am your wife that quit her job to become a mother "
I wanted to spit on him, my blood started to simmer.
" was you cheating on me?" I abruptly asked.
"MACKKKK" he deliberately socked me.
I tried to strike back but he strikes me again in the nose once more
Making a red river leak all over my white silk Versace gown.
At that moment I thought to myself...
"he would never hurt me"
"He's going to hurt my baby"
"What am I going to do now?"
all this hurt I went through and he knew.
So he decided to go through
"Baby I didn't mean to hit you, I'm sorry it's been a long day for me this conversation is over, go on clean ur face up you assume"
..... I walked right into the bedroom with this burning sensation and blood dripping ripples onto the beige carpet we had in our master bedroom.
Vanni stayed over at mamas house for the weekend.
Glad she wouldn't witnessed this evil feeling
I knew where he kept his gun.
My mind was racing.
He didn't know I was crazy.
In my head, I'm on the run.
destroyed too many times to be another punching bag full of suffering.
Or for my child to be another target for negative energy.
This was the last day anyone would ever hurt me again.
I took the safety off the 9mm gun.
I walked into the restroom where he was just stepping out of the shower, and before I knew it I pulled the trigger.
His body fell into the tub with a tunnel running through his temple.
I was terrified of myself because now I knew this was my downfall.
Suppose the energy he contained possesses me
Behind the prison bars, I was a crying mother with a motherless baby.
But I was damned if she had to see her mother grow up and please satan.
