Lan Zhan's Promises (WangXian) Book 2

Drunk Lan Zhan

Wei Wuxian saw a file of paper inside Jingshi. He saw a papers on the table and he gets cry when he saw his husband handwritten letters for him 13 Years Ago.

"My Lan Zhan please forgive me for leaving you...."- He gasp to the air while reading a bunch of papers. 

Wei Ying, 

have you already forgotten me?

i am clinging

onto the fading memory of your

upturned lips drinking an emperor's smile

i am longing

for more than the memory of your

name cried out by the lips of a child

i am yearning

for the haunting memory of your

flute pressed to your lips, the song

(sweet and sharp like the strings that have cut through my fingers and the sheer memory of you that cut through the agony of the whip lingers)

i do not envy you

do not remember the way your head laid on my leg

do not remember the rabbits

do not remember the flowers

do not remember

you are gone

there is nothing to envy

He placed the paper inside the book and leave the room. Wei Wuxian saw his husband inside their room, He smile when Lan Zhan gives him a bottle of Emperor's Wine. 

"Lan Zhan... why you drink hard??? Is there any problem My love???"

"Come...."- Lan Wangji tap the space beside him. 

"Why you get drunk... Tell Me..."

"I always hide your favorite wine on my table... Even uncle doesnt know im not an alcoholic drinker..."

"Lan Er Gege...."

"I'm thirsty, i need water..."

Wei Wuxian get a glass of water and place it on his husbands hand. But instead of drinking he attempt to pour it on his head. 

"Aiyyyaaaaa.. No.. Lan Zhan..."

" I'm so worthless Wei Ying,...."

"Why you say that? You were really looking for me."

Lan Zhan nods and pout. Remembering the saddest day in his life. 

"Yes... I remember in Nightless City, I wasn't standing on  the same side as you..."

(Flash black from the past)

When Wei Ying saw Lan Zhan and asked

  "Are you here to stop me?", he was saying, 

Are you really doing this? You of all people can't do this to me. Aren't we soulmates? How could you? Please don't try to stop me. You can't.

Then the way Lan Zhan called him, 

"Wei Ying". He looked so desperate. 

"I wont mind dying, at least , by your hands, Hanguang Jun"

"Where are you going?"- but he wasn't asking. Not really. His voice, his look, he was pleading him to not go. 

"Please don't do this. Please don't go. If you do, I'll have to choose between you and what everyone says is right. And I honestly don't know what to do. I don't want to lose you but if you go, I will."-   He at that moment doesn't know what's right or wrong.

Deep in his heart, he knows what Wei Ying was doing isn't wrong but it also go against what he was taught since he was young. He was very conflicted and lost. You can hear it all in their voices.

This was the moment when Lan Zhan'll come to regret later when Wei Ying died.

  If only I had stopped him. If only I had gone with him. If only I had done something. If only... If only...

For 13 years. Because when you really loved someone, even if you knew that there was nothing you could have done, there will always be regrets.

"Lan Zhan. Lan Wangji, Lan Er Gege, My Hanguang Jun... Sorry for everything.... Because of me your suffer"

Lan Zhan cup his face and smile even if its drunk. Lan Zhan is stil Lan Zhan.

"You're really great—I like you."

Wei Wuxian touched on his husbands words. 

"In other words: I fancy you, I love you, I want you, I can't leave you, I whatever you."

"I want to night-hunt with you for the rest of my life."

"I also want to sleep with you every single day. I swear that it's not the heat of the moment or joking around like I've done in the past, much less doing it out of gratitude. In short, it's not because of anything else—I just like you to the point of wanting to sleep with you. I don't want anyone but you—it has to be you. You can do anything you want to me, and I'd like whichever way you want it, as long as you're willing to..."