2020/14/3
Dear Diary,
Tell me, is there something wrong with me? I'm starting to forget how to feel. Its 3 am now, and I'm feeling...empty. It's been so long since I last cried. You know...im confused... all my brothers they say...they tell me that I'm the one getting all the attention and love...and they say I'm spoiled. Am I?...I don't know...maybe. But if that's true, then please tell me why do I feel so out of place here. like I don't belong here. Am I being selfish? Mom always treats everyone else differently compare to how she treats me. I never felt needed or wanted when I'm here.No matter how much I try to change...they can't see it. It's always my fault. I'm always the wrong one. I'm in my room almost 24/7. It's not because I want to or I like to. But because every time I go out and try to have a conversation and share my feelings and thoughts to them. They make me feel pathetic. They make me look stupid and so...I prefer shutting myself out. It hurts lesser. To be honest, I am a aware of my behavior. I know I'm not really any close to being a model child, But they are many things I don't tell them. Things like..."I'm hurt" or "someone bullied me". a situation like that, I just keep it all to myself and never say a word. Coz I feel like they wouldn't really care or even bother about it. Many times I tell them things that I find hard and painful to share but they never share any sign of interest. And that just makes the pain worst. And when all of those untold feelings and thoughts accumulate day by day it gradually turns into a ball of anger and frustration.
GOOD NIGHT.
Zzzzzz
YOU ARE READING
THE SILENT SCREAMS
Storie breviA girl who finds it hard to express her thoughts and feelings to others shares a part of her Diary with the world.
