It was a whole new day, and Moonbyul just woke up remembering about the other day when she kissed Hwasa passionately.
And she decided to write a bit on her diary, since she was always busy it looked like she wasn't writing her feelings anymore and it was all coming to a point that she felt stupid about herself for having so much thoughts making her mind full
Dear Diary, yeah it's me, the missing girl huh, I missed you, it's just, now that I have Hwasa everything feels so full and you know you do something by your impulse, I feel bad, cuz I'm not like that, and I'm regretting it, of all.
I kissed her when I shouldn't had, I wonder, if she likes me at all like we barely know each other, she doesn't know my past, she doesn't know my dark self and of course I prefer it that way, but, am I giving her too much hope, cuz honestly, she thinks I'm a pearl, beautiful in any way, but I'm not cuz I got my monsters all around me and when they gone I feel different, I feel free, but feeling free isn't what I'm used to you know, I'm scared that if I open up too much I will get hurt, like I always do and why would she be different huh?? Maybe she isn't, maybe she is just confused or I don't know, I like my sad self, that side of me who draws and sings whenever I feel I'm breaking, that part of me who's always here, even if its a bad thing, it is always here since I was a kid, I can tell that she wants to know more and more but I'm not ready, like I'm not ready to let go the sad part of me, I feel so dumb for thinking like this but honestly it's the truth, and I can't hide it.
She wondered and wondered, if she was ready at all to have something with someone, that someone that she been waiting for a long time but now she could see all clearly, everything you desire for, as a time, and that wasn't the perfect one.
Her wish to have the one by her side seemed going away everyday, and more she wondered more it would disappear.
Disappear like her happiness, now it was her reality taking control of herself, and it was ruining everything, but she knew that somehow it was her own fault, maybe she wouldn't had been raped if she wasn't on the streets at night, maybe she wouldn't be like this, if it was that night.
Her insecurities, her fears, her wishes for dying felt so vividly on her mind.
I did this too myself and now,I'm never getting away from my monsters, because they got me in their hands.
She burst into a deep crying, as if her heart was getting even more broken, she could feel it getting tight, she could feel her desperate for death vividly, and now what she would do? Run away from everyone and everything? She asked herself...
Maybe, because it's the right thing, 'im a monster', 'and I deserve all of this, I'm sorry....'
After all of the crying, all the pain getting bigger, her broken heart getting even broken, she got up looked herself in the mirror, with most hateful face and that smile was gone now all her face could feel was her tears, because it was all gone along with the happiness.
She prepared herself ignoring everyone in that house making her mom wonder what happened so suddenly but not bothering.
As Byul went to school she saw Hwasa and suddenly her heart skipped a bit, but she ignored, she ignored her heart and that wave that Hwasa had done.
Hyejin runs towards Byul but this starts running crying in pain,
And Byul thought
This is not what I wanted but I have to,
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Heyo umh sorry if this chapter was a bit heavy, uh I'm really sorry I hope y'all doing fine, thank you for reading my fanfic and stay safe, I'm sure there is someone out there that cares for you
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✨𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚✨ (Hwabyul)
RomansWell this is a super gay story, about Moonbyul and Hwasa romance , byul as depression due to her hard past and Hwasa is struggling with her life in school (she is just bestie with Wheein), they will meet each other and a lot of things are going to h...
