Down All Your Darkest Roads

Chapter Eleven

Three Months Later

Since starting a relationship with Stevie, Christine was slowly learning that despite knowing someone for twelve years, there were still many quirks and personality traits left to discover. In the past three months, she had picked up nuances to Stevie ranging from the adorable way she could never quite finish a cup of tea to her sense of compassion and kindness that knew no bounds. When Christine caught a small cold over Christmas, Stevie fussed about her like an anxious mother, fluffing her pillows and making endless cups of lemon and ginger tea. It was a different side to Stevie she had never seen before and she adored her even more for it.

They loved each other intensely and ferociously; and Christine didn't want anybody else. She called Eddy to end whatever flimsy thing they had between them and she didn't feel the slightest bit guilty. When he flippantly remarked, "I was fucking other people, anyway. But you were the most famous one so I stayed." Christine's only regret was not dumping him sooner. The best part of the 'breakup' was Stevie's indignation at Eddy's words; Christine had to practically restrain her from grabbing the receiver and screaming expletives down the line. Her protectiveness was a huge turn on and they made love zealously afterwards.

However their relationship was not without its flaws. They were both strong willed, fiercely independent women who were used to things a certain way and had to quickly adapt to their differences. Stevie was a night owl who wrote poetry until 5am while Christine preferred to sleep at a decent hour. Christine liked solitude whereas Stevie on a good day sought the company of other people. They generally worked around their personality extremes well, but there were other difficulties that proved harder to deal with.

Stevie's medication was a reoccurring point of contention and Christine remained adamant the pills would eventually do more harm than good. She didn't trust Stevie's doctor and was shocked when he agreed to increase her dosage.

"It's going to reduce my anxiety." Stevie explained nonchalantly. "We're about to release an album and I need to focus. I'm actually doing everyone a favour."

Christine didn't see it that way. "I think there are healthier ways to manage your anxiety than taking more bloody drugs."

Stevie turned away from her and Christine knew she said the wrong thing. "I still get cravings, Chris. My medicine controls the impulse along with my other issues, you don't understand."

Christine cupped Stevie's cheek and she reluctantly faced her. "So help me to."

But Stevie only shook her head and refused to say anything else.

----

When Christine wasn't worrying about Stevie her mind was on John. As much as she tried to distance herself from his issues, she still cared for him deeply and wanted to see him healthy and addiction free. While he had freshened himself up for the upcoming release of their album and all the media attention that came with it, Christine knew him well enough to know he struggling. John appreciated Christine's concern but refused her help, it would probably take a near death experience for her ex to open his eyes and his stubbornness frustrated her to no end.

The band as a whole were stressed and anxious, so inevitably, the press sensed the tension from a mile away. Hungry for salacious stories they targeted the band members individually, resulting in unflattering quotes about each other that added to the already edgy atmosphere. Lindsey and Stevie were the most vulnerable, their tumultuous relationship had always been heavily publicised and the fans loved the gossip. When Lindsey was asked about Stevie's presentation post rehab he described her as being 'one of the most beautiful girls' but when she joined them to record she 'looked like shit'. Stevie was hurt and furious despite Lindsey insisting he was misquoted; she refused to sit next to him at a subsequent press conference and took her anger out on Christine.

They drove back home in a stony silence while Christine tried to figure out what she had done wrong. Before she could even put the car in park, Stevie stormed out and slammed the door behind her. Christine followed her inside and sat on a barstool in the kitchen, watching the fuming blonde rummage around the fridge for a bottle of wine.

"You're not going to find what you're looking for, I finished it."

Stevie swore under her breath and closed the fridge door with more force than necessary.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Stevie glared accusingly at her. "You have no idea, honestly?"

"No idea."

"After the conference I was trying to talk to you, but you were too busy paying attention to some stupid joke Mick made or something."

Christine couldn't help but roll her eyes at Stevie's pettiness. "You started telling me something but I couldn't hear you because I was laughing out loud-"

"That's right, I was having a serious conversation with you-"

"You started talking as I was laughing so I asked, 'Sorry, what did you say?' but you said 'Don't worry about it!' Then you put your headphones on and didn't speak to me after that."

"Actually, I didn't snap at you like that. I never yell at you like a psycho." Stevie said hotly.

"What do you call this then?" Christine shot back. "Stevie, is this row really about me supposedly ignoring you or Lindsey publically commenting on your looks?"

Stevie flinched and Christine knew she had her.

"The press twist things to suit their agenda." She pointed out. "Plus he said similar things about Mick and John. I know it feels personal because of your history but it's not always about you."

"You don't know how it feels, John has never talked shit about you in public." Stevie mumbled.

Christine sighed. "All our issues happened behind closed doors, yes. But it doesn't mean it was any less harder."

Stevie quickly wiped a tear from her eye and stared at the floor. "I'm angry his words still have an affect on me."

"I understand, gorgeous. It's hard to stop caring but look at all the good things you have in your life right now." Christine cheekily arched her back and flounced her hair to lighten the mood.

Stevie snorted good-naturedly and walked around the kitchen bench to sit on Christine's lap.

"You deserve the world, baby. I'm sorry I'm such a bitch, sometimes." Stevie said into Christine's neck.

Christine stroked Stevie's hair lovingly. "We all have our moments. Brace yourself for my scheduled breakdown on Thursday."

Stevie chuckled and pulled back to gaze at her with a wondrous look on her face. "I'm so lucky to have you. Before I dated you I used to never say sorry in relationships. What are you doing to me?"

"It's obviously my magic, darling." Christine joked, giving Stevie's waist a gentle squeeze.

Stevie smiled and kissed her sweetly, the day's stress and drama momentarily forgotten.

----

Christine held Stevie while she slept, her gentle snores filling their bedroom. While she snuggled her, Christine reflected on the day's tumultuous events and Stevie's remarkable self-awareness and insight into her past mistakes. She was glad their relationship was bringing out the best in her and hoped her progress was here to stay. If it weren't for her worrying substance issues, things would be close to perfect.

She had fallen asleep still curled around her girlfriend when the phone jarred her awake. She groaned and rolled towards the bedside table, while Stevie remained motionless; the girl could sleep through anything.

"Hello?" She answered groggily.

"Christine." Came Mick's anguished voice from the other end. "Its John, he had a seizure. Chris, you have to come. Now."

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A/N: Thanks for reading :)