Down All Your Darkest Roads

Chapter Fifteen

A/N: Again, I apologise for any medical inaccuracies in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it regardless.

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The couple enjoyed a few days of bliss before Stevie attended her doctor's appointment. Christine accompanied her nervous girlfriend into the room and immediately took a liking to Dr Renmark. He was informative and direct, and Christine sorely believed his no nonsense approach was needed to help Stevie face some hard facts.

Christine wasn't surprised to hear Stevie's psychiatrist completely mismanaged her medication from the get go. According to Dr. Renmark, Stevie should have eased off Klonopin months ago and if she didn't stop now, she was at a serious risk of developing a long term, possibly fatal addiction. The safest method for Stevie to withdraw was tapering her current dosage until she was off it altogether. Side effects existed but were manageable and worth it in the long run. Christine thought it sounded promising and a quietly terrified Stevie agreed to give it a try. They thanked Dr. Renmark, picked up her smaller dose and headed home.

"Nine weeks, Stevie," Christine began as she sped home. "You were supposed to stop this bloody thing after nine weeks, but you've been taking it for seven months! If I ever set eyes on that psychiatrist, I'm going to kill him."

"Don't say things like that, Chris." Stevie warned. "I wouldn't have been able to record anything for Tango if it wasn't for the Klonopin. I'm not saying it was ideal, but I did what I had to do at the time and there's no going back."

"You were a fright when you joined us because your body was struggling to adapt to that shit." Christine countered. "Your appearance, the drinking, the mood swings...I knew something else was going on."

"Well now my body has to adapt to getting off 'that shit' so please don't start." Stevie glared at her. "Remember your promise? I don't need your bossy, know-it-all attitude right now."

Christine lit up a cigarette and took a long drag. "I don't mean to be a bitch and I know how hard this is for you, I'm just in a state of shock. I feel like a complete idiot for not comprehending the severity of your situation earlier."

"How do you think I feel?" Stevie said in a small voice.

Before Christine could rant further, Stevie leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes, effectively ending their argument.

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The afternoon brought on further revelations that helped Christine understand Stevie's dismal return to Fleetwood Mac last year. Stevie's manager phoned, and told a shocked Christine that Stevie was never professionally recommended Klonopin to begin with. She had exited rehab feeling fit and ready to take on the world, only to be persuaded by some 'friends' to try the drug to prevent a cocaine relapse. If she hadn't accepted the damaging advice, Stevie's experience during Tango's recording might have been a lot different.

Christine knew she couldn't rewrite history, but logic didn't stop her from crying in the bathroom while Stevie obliviously played the piano downstairs. Her mind was swimming with 'what ifs' as she once again regretted not being a part of Stevie's life at a time when she needed her. She cried out her irrational guilt before washing her face and accepting the state of events as they were; finding strength in the knowledge that she was here now and Stevie was safe and not alone.

Feeling slightly better she opened the bathroom door and collided with Stevie.

"There you are, I was looking for you." Stevie's eyes raked over Christine's drained appearance and frowned. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." Christine said as she tried to hide her puffy face.

Stevie moved closer and swept strands of hair behind her ear. "You've been crying, why? Is this because of our fight in the car?"