when the flowers die || l.s

rose

today's the day

i'm going to finally make him

my husband

are you nervous, lou?

anne asked, fixing my shirt

i'm bloody nervous

shitting my pants right now

she laughed and smacked my arm

you kiss my son with that mouth?

she joked

i did everything with this mouth-

she cut me off by laughing even harder

it'll all go well

don't worry about it

you'll make him the happiest man

she patted my back

now go get your man

she opened his hospital room door

and i inhaled the familiar scent

of medicine and clean bedsheets

the familiar vision of white walls

white ceilings

white lights

almost everything was white, really

then my eyes landed on him

harry

the angel in human disguise

albeit his hair loss,

he was still an angel in my eyes

harry?

you awake, love?

i gently patted his arm

and waited for a response

it's been more than ten seconds

harry?

he gave me a weak nod

i felt myself mentally

exhale a breath of relief

i just realised that i've never given you

roses

so i thought that today would be

the perfect day to give you them

i carefully placed the bouquet of roses

on his stomach

i cleared my throat

i could feel the sweat trickling down

my forehead

this is it

i'm going to ask him

harry?

i pecked his pale chapped lips

lou

was all he could say

harry edward styles,

we've been together

for almost a year now and

before it's too late,

i want you to be my-

before i could finish,

his heart monitor stopped beeping

harry?

silence

no, baby please don't go

don't do this to me

silence

FUCK!

HARRY!

NURSE!

DOCTOR!

SOMEONE GET IN HERE!

HELP!

HARRY!

i held both his cheeks

he was smiling

like the angel he is

harry i love you so much

you're gonna be fine

everything's gonna be okay

don't go, love

look at me

hey don't go, love

stay with me

please

harry?

silence

the doctors were rushing in

love?

silence

they were pulling me back now

mr. tomlinson i'm afraid you have to leave

one of the nurses urged

NO!

I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HIM!

i screamed

but he already left you

my mind said

my vision went blurry

i couldn't hear anything

it was all too much

my whole body went numb

the last thing i saw before

total blackness surged me

was my beautiful angel

lying down with

the roses that i gave him

the roses that i grew for him

for months

his face was peaceful

he's going to a better place

without me.