when the flowers die || l.s

aster

we sat down on the grass

and i began asking him

a lot of questions

are you alright?

how was the trip?

did you enjoy it?

did you see other guys?

better guys than me?

i hope you're not breaking up

with me right now-

he cut me off before i could

continue my absurdity

no, louis

's just that...

i don't know how to tell you this,

um...

he started looking around

and when something caught his eyes

he got up and walked towards

the aster flowers

i was perplexed as to what was

going on but

eventually, he came back and sat down

next to me

you see this flower?

he asked

yeah...

that's an aster

i answered, tilting my head a little

i don't get it

what are you trying to say,

harry?

i asked

what i'm trying to tell you is- ugh!

he ran his hand through his hair

clearly frustrated

i've never seen him like this

so angry and

un-angel like

i have something that rhymes with

aster

and i have six months left, lou!

six fucking months!

fuck!

he yelled, throwing the aster

on the ground

rubbing his bloodshot eyes furiously

aster...

aster...

i let the wheels in my head

think harder

what the hell rhymes with aster?

and what could it possibly do with having

a life limit?

then it hit me

cancer

no

this can't be

tell me you're lying, harry

please tell me this is a fucking joke!

i was a crying mess

please!

i choked a sob

you can't go...

i can't handle this!

no...

please

i've never felt so desperate

yet so hopeless

in my life

he just sat there and cried

i held him in my arms

and we cried together

cried until the sun set

cried until it hurts so bad

because it did

everything hurts

we cried like there was no tomorrow

because sooner or later,

my tomorrow wouldn't consist of harry

ever again.