give her love » james potter

23

I don't get out of bed for two days.

Something inside me hurts so bad that moving makes ripples of pain go through my body. I drink gallons of some exotic tea that's supposed to heal you and take dozens of painkillers, but nothing works.

Rachel comes in every few hours, sits quietly on my bed and talks about stuff because Rachel's great at talking. Then she rubs my back and asks if I want something to eat, to which I always say no, and she just gives me a nod and leaves quietly.

It's this horrible cycle and it's the third day already, I want it to end. But I can't get up, I don't have a single drop of energy.

The sun streams in and hits me, for a second, I think, maybe this is the moment. Maybe now I'll finally get up. But I don't. I feel terrible because Rachel invited me here and I'm being such a terrible guest. She doesn't deserve any of this because she's always so patient and kind and full of so much love. I wish I could be better for her.

I start to cry.

Footsteps come towards me. The floor creaks. The blankets shift. Suddenly I feel the warmth of two bodies.

"Lina," Siobhan whispers, making me look at her. She shifts and I finally see there's one more person here. Maggie Rosier stares at me with big blue eyes. "Rach said you weren't feeling very well, so I thought, maybe Maggie could cheer you up."

She crawls towards me and I raise my hand a little. Her fingers wrap around my thumb and I let out a deep breath.

We talk about it.

It being my family.

"I remember this one time," I say, taking a large bite of my sandwich. "We went to the beach house, when I was thirteen, it was the first time since Eli had graduated. We'd both snuck out late at night wandered through the beach, shivering in our jumpers. Nothing special happened, but it was when I really knew, that I loved him a lot and I'd miss him more than anything. He was my best friend in so many ways and he gave the best advice and always made me laugh. He was so sad that summer because he'd always say he'd lost his soulmate."

Rachel frowns. "But he didn't date anyone at all in year seven."

Well, nobody knew about it. I think I was the only person, the thought of that made me sad. "It was Narcissa Black," I tell them, thinking back to her. She'd graduated such a long time ago. Yet, she was unforgettable. "He'd loved her a lot, but in the end, she'd gotten engaged to some blonde pureblood."

She nods. "It was Lucius Malfoy, they got married last summer. It was the prettiest wedding I'd ever been to."

I think if they'd ever gotten married it would've beat that. It would've been at the beach house because all the important things happened at the beach house. There'd be thousands of flowers, especially lilacs because Eli loved those. I imagine lanterns everywhere and the sound of Elvis singing Love Me Tender playing the whole night.

I know that she loved him as much as he loved her because sometimes I'd see her gaze on him, everything about her always seemed softer when she was looking at him. When she looked at him it reminded me of how my mum and dad looked at each other, it was like they were coming home after a long day.

Sometimes you'll meet people who feel like home and the thing that makes me sad is that you might not end up spending your life with that person.

That terrifies me.

But I sit in a bedroom where sunlight streams in and warms my heart. I sit in a bedroom with two girls who care so much about me, two girls who make me feel less sad, two girls who I love so much because they're my best friends. 

"I think," I say, looking at them, wanting to cry again. "If I didn't have you guys, I would've died a long time ago."

The thought of losing them terrifies me even more.

"Oh baby," Siobhan whispers, holding me close. "You are so loved, I'm sorry you ever had to feel like that." I think the mother in her comes out a little when she says that because it sounds so gentle and wise.

Rachel puts her arms around us and rests her head on my shoulder. "You're my rock," she says quietly. "I think with you, I'd go crazy. I'd be like a balloon flying up and up, until one day I just pop."

It makes me laugh, which makes Rachel laugh, then Siobhan lets out a snort, and Maggie who's been watching all of this lets out a giggle.

(Will and I decorated our newest batch of cookies. These ones were superhero-themed and very much deformed but he still loved them a lot and took his time to ice each one.

I started sprinkles when he said, "You coming home is my favorite Christmas present."

He's so honest and genuine about everything he says. Will never says anything unless he really means it so this means more coming from him. "That's probably the nicest anyone's ever said to me."

He smiled and his dimples appeared. "I like Rory and Eli but," he leans in and lowers his voice, "you're my favorite because you understand my soul."

Even though Will was only seven he sounded more and more like my dad every time I saw him. He even looked like him, the pale skin that burned easily under the sun and sky blue eyes that were the nicest color eyes could be. 

"I miss you a lot when I'm at Hogwarts," I said to him, staring at my spiderman cookie. Trying to blink away my glassy eyes. "You're my number one boy Will."

His eyes widened. "I thought Eli was."

"Nah, it's you."

We continued with decorating cookies, talking about if Superman was better than Spiderman and how if Harvey and I got married and we had a boy, his name must be Clark.)

"What's on your mind," Rachel asks handing me a present.

I smile. "How much I love Will."