Moonbow | Tyrus

Nine

TJ's POV

Cyrus gazes up at the high ceiling in my house's entryway. Then he wanders in farther, finding his way through to the kitchen. The space is decorated with white cabinets, several pieces of abstract art that my parents got from local galleries, and a wood backsplash over the stove. A chandelier light hangs over the dining table, and images of me and my siblings stripe the wall by the coat rack.

"Wow," he breathes. "It's bigger than I imagined."

Then his sights catch on the piano out on the back deck, and I know before he says it what he's thinking.

"You should play a song for me."

"I've played many songs for you," I reply.

"Yeah, but only while I'm in my room listening," he says. "I'd like to hear one up close."

I take a minute to ponder that, and I eventually come to a conclusion I like.

"Okay," I say, "but you have to sing while I play."

Cyrus's eyes go up in disappointment, but I don't budge. I think this is a perfectly reasonable offer I'm making. I also really want to see if he can sing.

He lets out a sigh. "Okay, fine. You don't have to play."

I shake my head. "No way. Come on."

"TJ..."

I slide open the back door to the deck and go outside. Cyrus drifts over as I sit down on the piano bench, but he has his arms crossed, his look of nervousness still on his face. Glancing over at him, I scoot to the right, making space for him to join me.

"I really can't sing well," he reasons.

"What are you afraid of?" I ask.

He stays silent for a moment before answering, "I don't want to be embarrassed."

"Remember when I accidentally sent you that photo of myself before I did my hair and I looked like a mess? That was embarrassing. Your singing won't be. Sit down."

"But you're cute when you're a mess," Cyrus comments. 

"And you'll be cute when you sing. Come on."

Cyrus finally caves and comes to join me at the piano. I begin playing random chords on the keys while I consider what melody to create. 

"What songs do you know?" I ask. 

"Um, do you know 'Lemon Boy'?"

"Of course," I reply. 

I start with the first chord, and I can see Cyrus shaking from nerves. When the lyrics are supposed to come in, he starts singing regardless, and I'm immediately in awe. He definitely lied when he said he couldn't sing. His voice blends with the notes so perfectly all the way through the song, and I wish for a moment that I could be someone else so that I could just listen to us together and soak in the beautiful tune. But I'd rather be me next to him, knowing he's doing this for me and no one else. I'd rather have him than anything else. 

As I play the last chord, the music hangs in the air like stardust above us. For a second, I swear I'm floating, but then the world comes back to me, and Cyrus lets out a laugh, releasing the last of his nerves. 

"I told you you would be good," I say. 

"You're the one with the talent," he refutes. "You should be a musician."

"Yeah, I don't know what I want to do," I breathe. "I considered piano, but I don't think I'd want to make a job out of this, because once I'm forced to do it, and it's not an option anymore, I think the fun would be lost."

"That makes sense," Cyrus replies. "Sometimes great things are great simply because we could choose for ourselves whether to see them as great."

"What do you want to do?" I ask him. "Do you have a plan for what your future will look like?"

We've never talked about this kind of thing before. I know about how he likes chocolate chocolate chip muffins, how he only ever sees the good in people, and how he has a fear of flamingos, but those are all things to do with the present. None of it extends to what he might do in the future.

"I don't really know," Cyrus answers, "but I guess I'll figure it out."

"How do you do that?" I wonder. 

"Do what?"

"Be comfortable with not knowing what to do, and knowing that one choice you make could change everything, and you won't be able to stop it, because you won't know what's going to happen. Like, in the future, I could find out that I didn't take any of the right high school classes to get into what I want. I might find out that someone in my family died or got hurt, but I could've helped if I had just chosen to be there. Or I could end up missing out on an opportunity because I didn't think it mattered. Everything's just so uncertain. In the future, I might not even have you, because I could do something stupid again."

Cyrus looks at me in a way that tells me he's had his answer prepared long before he met me. 

"TJ," he says, "You don't need to know who you are and what you want right now. And you can't possibly know what outcome your choices will have in the future. All you can do is just do what feels right at every moment, and wherever you end up, you'll be okay."

"But what if I'm not?" I mutter. "Right now, it feels like there are just so many things blocking me from being able to get to what I want. What if I never really get there, and I'm stuck somewhere I don't want to be? What if I mess things up so bad that I can't fix them, and I just end up wasting my life in a dark pit? Or what if I think I'm doing something good, and then I find out that I caused something horrible to happen?"

Cyrus stays silent for a moment, and in that time, I end up on something new. 

"I like rainbows for that reason," I utter. "When you see a rainbow, it means there's no more rain. It's done, and the sun is there, and it's not going to be dark again."

"Well, have you ever heard of a moonbow?" Cyrus asks. 

I shake my head. 

"A moonbow is a rainbow that shows up at night from the moonlight rather than the sun. It's dark outside, but there's still light around. Although we can't see the sun at night, it's there, and the moon catches the sunlight to use for itself. Even when its as dark as it can get, there's still a light somewhere. We just have to be willing to acknowledge it."

Cyrus is wise beyond anyone I've ever met. It's at moments like this one that I wonder how I got so lucky to have him enter my life. A boy as amazing as him must only care for amazing things. It takes me a while to process the fact that he cares about me. 

"A moonbow is a beautiful thing in the wrong place," Cyrus goes on. "I think that makes it even more beautiful. Don't you?"

"I do," I agree.

His eyes fall from my eyes to my lips as he notices me leaning in. When we kiss, it's like a million suns all at once, drowning out every particle of dreariness in my heart. This is the one thing I'm sure about—him and me. I'm certain that, even if I don't know what will happen to us in the future, I like this now. I like him being here, and this is the right choice. I like feeling his kiss disintegrate my walls and invade my every inch. I know moonbows can't be people, but if they could, he would certainly be one. He is the most beautiful thing in my life, and it taints all the bad things, making them all vanish the second he touches me. 

My fantasy shatters the second I hear Amber's voice, mutter, "Uh, TJ..."

A/N: Okay, well, I'm really excited. I hope you liked these past two chapters. I didn't have any notes on that, because I knew I'd have notes on this. Anyway, how's everybody holding up? Well, I hope? Thank you to all those who've been reading my stories consistently lately. It really makes my day every day when I see your comments and votes and just your little icons in my notifications. I guess I'll go to sleep now. Tomorrow I'm gonna update Snapdragon. Have a lovely night, lovelies.