it was the type of sex you regret halfway through, but are too deep in to resist:
vice, his hands like mine but rougher.
when i looked up into his eyes i could see myself dark glassy and wavering
so i
closed mine fast & left in a hurry.
the next time, and the one after that, he didn't ask. his body shackled around mine like a python around its prey
and soon i got used to acquiescing. i slipped. first nature. he was borne from my weak spots and wormed his way back to them them like a bird returning north. infiltrated my senses, 'til
i grew to miss his kiss. 'til he no longer needed to sneak up behind me because i was already turned around, waiting for him, hurrying towards him.
& then i did something i couldn't take back. i felt it: rank semen,
black venom. growing to a pit in my stomach, making me sick with myself, but there's no way to abort a child like this.
so i let it live, this daughter of my weakness. i carried her to term and named her guilt.
