It's my life, mom (frerard ,Rikey)

Chapter 5: Night terrors

*Trigger warning: If you are sensitive to, ptsd flashbacks , mention of suicide, and self-harm then I would suggest skipping the stars and being careful throughout the story plz  and thank you, stay safe*

Frank's POV:

 I woke up quite warm and cozy, my beautiful boyfriend was next to me. It's been four months and I couldn't be happier, and tomorrow's my birthday. I slowly stood up and attempted to walk without falling to the bathroom, I made it to the bathroom, but being me I fell in the bathroom. "Shit, Frankie", Gerard cried. "I'm  okay, Gee, I'm in the bathroom", I yelled to calm him down. I stood back up and left the bathroom to check on him. "Frankie don't leave me—fuck I— I don't want to lose you—please don't leave me—I love you", he sobbed, shit he's having a flashback,  I need to wake him up, I hate seeing him like this, he's screaming, hyperventilating, shaking, and crying. "Gee, Gerard, baby please wake up," I said crying myself. He wakes up shaking and crying, he tackles me in a hug, "Oh god I had another flashback, I love you, I'm so glad you didn't end it all, I don't know what I would do without you", he said crying and kissing my face. "I love you too, Gee and I'm not going a anywhere anytime soon, so you'll never have to find out", I said holding him tight. "Do you wanna shower with me?", I asked "Yes, I would love to", Gerard answered. "Kay, come on", and with that I pulled him in the bathroom, turned on the shower, and we got undressed. Then we waited for the water to heat up, we got in the shower and got the shampoo and washed each other's hair. I told him to get his favorite body wash and of course it was lavender scented, he loves feminine smells. We washed each other bodies and stepped out the shower. We dried each other off and left the bathroom to get dressed, I got dressed in his clothes which comfortably hung off of me. "Starbucks?", I ask raising an eyebrow, "Starbucks", Gerard said with a nod, and with that we put our shoes on and we were off.

Gerard's POV:

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I keep having flashbacks of that day the day I'll never forget, when we were 13, the day that my Frankie thought about ending it all. The day he almost attempted to end it all.

*flashback*

    Frankie was sleeping next to me last night and now I can't find him, "Frankie", I call out to him. "Shit Gerard, don't come in here, please go away", he said, he sounded like he was crying , "Frank please tell me your okay", I say, "Gerard just go, I don't want you to see, I don't want you to see me like— this", he said. "Frankie please tell me what happened, I won't judge you", I said . "No Gerard please, just don't come in, I- you would be disappointed in me, I failed you", he said sobbing. "You wouldn't wanna be my friend anymore", he choked out. I went and pulled on the door, but it was locked and he sobbed some more. I knew how to pick locks so I picked the bathroom lock to see Frank on the bathroom floor, covered in blood, with his eyes of fear, and a razor-blade in his hands. "No,no,no,no, no, shit, Frankie", I started crying, "I told you to stay away", he said, now he was sobbing, shaking, and hyperventilating. "Frank I am not disappointed, and I still wanna be your friend", I say sinking down to the floor to get to him. "Tell me what's  going on Frankie, what made you want to hurt yourself", I said trying to calm myself. "School, those fucking bullies, the people who laugh, it's suffocating, Gerard, I hate it, and everyday I just feel dead, like no one understands, like it's hopeless even going on with life, like everything would be so much better off if I was dead, and you would be so much happier if I didn't exist, if you didn't have to stand up for me", he said the best he could because he was hyperventilating. "Frank please don't end it all, Frankie give me the blade", I said reaching for it, successfully taking it and replacing it under the sink, away from us both. He fell into my chest, and I held him there. "Frankie don't leave me— fuck I— I don't wanna lose you— I love you", I sobbed.        

*end of flashback*

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I felt someone shake me awake, I was shaking and I could barely breathe, "Gee, Gerard, baby please wake up", I saw my beautiful, Frank sitting over me crying. I hugged him, "Oh God, I had another flashback, I love you and I'm so glad you didn't end it all, I don't know what I would do without you", I say pecking his face all over. "I love you too, Gee and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, so you'll never have to find out", he said. We showered together and got dressed and now we're on our way to Starbucks XD!

A/n: 

I apologize for going against what I said I was going to do I just thought it would be necessary to do a backstory and add something that happened in the past, and I wanted it to be something with Frank being upset and Gerard comforting him. To keep answer a question Frank saying, that he wasn't going anywhere was not foreshadowing it was just something I added to add more to the chapter and the time jump was just so it didn't make things go so quick (you'll see what I mean later). Another question is, yes I will stay with my word and make a chapter with the events I mentioned, but not necessarily the next chapter, but I will include it don't worry. 

—Xoxo Glitterfarts102