A Bullet is the Key.

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Time seemed to go by quicker than it ever did before the shooting, time seemed to spiral by and leave me alone. Classes whizzed by and finals soon approached in the upcoming weeks. That day when Chrissie and I were almost caught in the old green house came and went with no significant events. Jamie and Ryder had slipped into an empty room when they heard voices approaching and unrecognizable footsteps that followed, they hid just in time. Chrissie and I said not a word to each other after we walked out of that room both shaken up by the images we had seen in there. Though I had already seen them once before, they still brought an uneasy feeling to my spine and send shivers up it. Our friendship was slowly deteriorating as the days and weeks slipped by uneventful and calm. Once out of that room I watched Chrissie and Jamie leave to go do what they had originally come to do before they saw Ryder and I sitting in the hallway. She still unnerved me and it was hard enough to admit to myself let alone say out loud that I did not trust her. Being my supposed best friend I could see her slowly changing before my eyes and becoming someone I could not even recognize at this point. The words that left her lips seemed forced and unnatural like the smile that always seemed to play there as well. Pain was the only word I could sum everything up to at that point, someone I thought would always be there seemed to be hiding more than she let on. Chrissie always told me to stay away from Ryder but lately I would see her try to get close to him and she would receive the cold shoulder from him sending her into a fit of rage. She began to act desperate, her normal smooth complex slowly crumbling from whatever she was holding in side. I would watch her at school and see the way she would skid around sometimes as if she was afraid the bogey man would jump out and eat her whole. Her uneasiness set me off guard and seemed to radiate full force when she was in a ten mile radius. With her behavior off I could sense there was more going on then what she had been telling me. It was so hard to even try to talk to her at times once we decided to slowly try and mend our broken friendship, her voice seemed false and it matched her smile. Lately we have tried to mend our friendship though it was hard because I had no idea what went wrong or what needed to be fixed entirely. Sometimes she seemed to zone out and gaze at something behind me but when I would go to look there was no one there or anything that should have made her react that way. Time was slinking by quickly and vanishing without a goodbye.

Ryder was okay after his episode in the hallway, he told me once he came fully to that it was like he was trapped in a fast action movie where he could not break free. His life just kept flashing before his eyes and that day of the shooting seemed to be the main event that stayed looped on replay. I had taken Ryder home after the other two vanished form sight, not bothering to try and get Ryder on his motorcycle I helped him into my car and got him situated in the passenger seat. Before I dialed Jace’s number on my phone and asked him if he could bring Ryder’s motorcycle home once he was finished with his last class. He told me he would and not to worry about finding him to give him the key because he had an extra key that Ryder gave him just incase Jace ever wanted to drive it. Those two are like two peas in a pod and they share almost everything. Driving Ryder home he was sound asleep so no words were spoken and no sound played inside the car afraid to break the peaceful atmosphere that had enclosed us. Once we arrived at Ryder’s I helped him get inside and into bed safely before I left and headed back home. The drive to my house was silent and I was finally left with my own thoughts for once in a long time. I could finally breath without feeling like I was intruding on everyone who stood next to me, things had finally started to take its toll. That week was stressful due to the preparations we needed to finish and finalize on for the carnival before it got to close and things were not available to have. The carnival was fast approaching and with that in mind we had to create more meetings as well as extend the hours to make sure everyone was ready for that day. Ryder and I have grown closer in the past few weeks despite the warnings I would receive from Chrissie and every once in awhile from Tori. We talked a lot and hung out more than times than I could count and it finally felt nice to have him back in my life since things had ended in a weird way between us. When we were together time seemed to freeze and I felt at home for once in a long time. Four years later our friendship was finally being mended and tended to as if it was a precious flower that needed time and love to grow stronger. Our bond that seemed to have gotten broken all those years was slowly shinning brighter than ever before. With my distance and distrust in Chrissie I began to hang out more with Ryder and Jace like old times, though occasionally I would hang out with Bryan and Mike. Though even now as the carnival loomed closer they seemed to shrink away in fright and hide among the school like wallflowers no longer trying to be the goofballs they always were. Something was up. Ryder and I have kissed and snuggled more times than I can count but we never said those three words or took our relationship to the next step, I was confused on why. Thoughts began to swim in my head and doubts began to fill my mind and send my heart in frenzy with worry. Everyone thought me to be perfect but I wasn’t, I wasn't perfect and I could not find a way to express this to everyone enough. Time became my friend as it seemed to be the only constant aspect in my life, though it changed time never vanished from sight. Ryder confused me because sometimes it seemed he wanted to say more but then his mouth would snap shut and the words would halt without continuing their march forward. His touch was the only thing that soothed me and brought me reassurance and on those days I did not see him my thoughts would slide back into the negative pools contradicting everything I knew. The negative aspects in my mind began to turn the truth into over analyzed material and assume the worst things without fully understanding what was going on. If that wasn't enough the thoughts began to make me doubt who I am and everyone around me, I began to sink into the deep end of my mind.