An Audience of Me

Human Touch

Something we all take for granted.

In this strange time, I have been left to the confines of my house. I guess out of fear, or action to take preventative measures. A sickness leaving many in panic, and confusion. A separate, but joined mind. Many feel the united urge to buy as many toilet paper rolls as you can before someone else buys them all.

There's a different urge that I wanted to share. One that may or may not get discussed a lot depending on who you surround yourself with. Maybe it doesn't need to be discussed. This thing that comes so natural to human's, or to some not so much.

Maybe you don't relate at all with what I want to write about, to which I would say-lucky for you.

Personally, there's a vitamin I have been severely lacking, and will have to continue to lack for who know's how long.

On an everyday basis, I am usually drowning in too many hugs for me to count. I have friends, and people who I like more than friends constantly opening their arms. I now see they were spoiling me, and not preparing me at all for the loss of their presence.

My body aches-and no, not sexually- to be embraced. To be in a long, uninterrupted, not awkward, hug.

The only way I can seem to compare it to in my mind, is when your vertebrae collect air inside of them, longing to be released. When your back hasn't been cracked in a month, and if someone gently laid their hand on your spine, you would immediately hear the *cckk*. A feeling that builds, and builds until you acknowledge it, and fix it.

It feels like I haven't been touched for years, although, realistically it's been six days. Six days. That's still a long time, considering what I'm used to.

Trapped in a box. Feeling alone, when all I want is that one touch. Seeing my friends through a screen isn't enough. I need to reach out and feel them.

I want strong, warm, safe arms to envelope me. I want to be tucked into him, his chin resting on the top of my head.

I feel hopeless, knowing how far that touch is in the future. How magnified the emotions would be when prolonged.

I want to feel their warmth. Their weight, weighing heavily down on me.

Torture is what you call a world without touch, and I cannot imagine the pain for those who have been missing it way longer than me. Those who maybe have never felt a loving embrace.

I know what it feels like to be held, and I know exactly what I am craving. I hate how this has been taken from me. I hate how I can do nothing about it. I could never risk people around me dying, and it hurts that much more.

To think you need, how many hugs-four a day for survival, eight a day for maintenance, and twelve for growth! And we are getting zero.

You never realize the things you take for granted until they are ripped from you. I know that is probably the most cliche thing I could've wrote, but it's true.

The sensation of another's touch is incredibly hard to explain.